Mention the word “nun”[1] to someone who grew up in the Catholic school system, particularly before Vatican II changed everything, and you’re likely to get a strong, visceral reaction ranging from fear and loathing, to worshipful admiration. Boys in particular seem to have ended up on the wrong side of that equation, and stories abound of physical and psychological abuse at the hands of nuns. Girls have their own stories, about nuns cutting their hair if their bangs were too long, or sending them home if their skirts were too short. There is even a word for an irrational fear of nuns—sphenisciphobia—which is, interestingly, the same word for an irrational fear of penguins.
As the product of 13 years of Catholic school education, I have my own stories to tell. A brother locked in the basement of a convent and forgotten for hours. Another whacked in the side of the head with a wooden pointer. And despite my reputation as a “teacher’s pet,” I once felt the slap of a ruler on my own six-year-old palms. My parents, like many other devout Catholics, were conflicted about how to react to this treatment of their children. Many seemed as afraid of the nuns as we were.
Which leads me to wonder, why did these women, devoted to God and works of charity, behave this way? Why did the nuns of yesteryear become the stuff of legends and Hollywood horror films?
Nuns play an important role in my novel-in-progress. My young heroine is coerced into becoming a nun at a time when the life of Catholic “women religious” was in a state of upheaval. So I decided to do more research on these fascinating and mysterious women, and by stepping back, I gained an interesting perspective:
by discipline and prayer.
Photo by Mateus Campos Felipe on Unsplash
- First, let’s remember that corporal punishment was an acceptable form of child-rearing in those days. Many kids in our West Side neighborhood were knocked around by parents, coaches, and scout leaders, and no one thought much of it.
- Second, some women were forced to become nuns, by parents or by circumstances, and some, no doubt, grew disillusioned and embittered over time. Most of the abuse I remember came from older nuns.
- Third, many nuns came to the classroom having no experience with children, particularly boys. They entered the convent at a young age, and lived a life of strict discipline and prayer surrounded by other nuns. Few had the education and training teachers have today.
- Finally, the classroom was the only place these teaching nuns had any real authority. Until the Second Vatican Council completed its work in 1965, men made all the major decisions in the Catholic Church, including rules and regulations governing these women. Some resentment may have spilled over into their treatment of young male students.[2]
You can also draw your own conclusions about how grouchy one might become without any meaningful contact with the opposite sex. None of this justifies abusive behavior, of course, but it does explain why some nuns were lovely, inspirational human beings, and others were simply mean.
Nuns today no longer have the reputation they once did, in part because their numbers have significantly dwindled (from a high of 180,000 in 1965 to just over 44,000 today), in part because the sisterhood changed dramatically after Vatican II, and in part because religious orders are now attracting millennials who are different from their predecessors. Nuns now have college degrees and religious career choices no longer limited to teaching and nursing. Today they can become, among other things, dieticians, historic building preservation experts, affordable housing experts, and hospital ethics board members. And following in the footsteps of nuns who became “radicalized” post Vatican II, they are politically active and often work with immigrant families, support asylum seekers, and participate in peaceful demonstrations.[3]
Nuns, it turns out, both then and today, are not all that different from the rest of us. They have the same desire to live a life of purpose and meaning, and the same human foibles. It was a nun who instilled in me a lifelong love of words, literature, and writing, and I am forever grateful for the way she shaped my mind and my destiny. She also helped me get over the searing memory of that first grade nun who “ruled” my trembling little hands.
Do you have a memorable “nun” story? I would love to hear your comments!
[1] Many people use the words “nun” and “sister” interchangeably, but technically speaking it was the “sisters” who taught in schools. Nuns traditionally live more cloistered lives. I am taking the liberty of using the colloquial “nun” in this blog because it is the more familiar term.
[2] For an interesting take on the impact of Vatican II on women religious, as well as statistics on their numbers then and now, see “IN EXODUS OF NUNS, FEW TURN BACK,” https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1986-03-24-8601210920-story.html
[3] For a fascinating look at the nuns of today see https://www.thelily.com/the-unexpected-life-of-a-millennial-nun/
I enjoyed reading this, and shared it with my [older] sister – a graduate of South Buffalo’s Mount Mercy Academy (MMA), class of ‘64. One thing that I wonder about is the influence of “order”, i.e., whether the nuns were Sisters of Mercy, Sisters of Saint Joseph, Sisters of Charity, etc. Our elementary schools in South Buffalo were populated with Sisters of Mercy (the convent was adjacent to MMA). They were a stern bunch, and conservative even for the time. Many entered the convent after high school, with little experience of little boys – you pointed this out as a generalization, but it was very true of these women. Too many of them had no training to be teachers; yet the class sizes of our grammar schools (48 per school room) would be considered unacceptable by the early ‘80s. Some days I believe it’s a miracle that so many students could read at grade level. Sadly, math achievement was lacking in this environment…our 4th grade class spent the entire year learning long division; I never did encounter algebra until high school.
But high school: the Sisters of Saint Joseph seemed to embrace Vatican II more wholeheartedly. Our “Mount” faculty were younger than the nuns I’d encountered in elementary school; most had college degrees. They taught us to question everything (and a good thing, too: our government was lying to us about southeast Asia). Probably not for nothing, some of our more memorable teachers didn’t make it to final vows – they found lives of service in secular vocations. Where are these remarkable women – whether professed or laity – today? Joanie Wagner, Adrienne Polacci, Kathy Conway, Bea Manzella? I would love to find them in 2021, to tell them how formative they were in my development. I suspect many of our classmates share my feeling.
Thank you for your comments Mary Ellen. I, too, have wondered whether the religious “order” made a difference in the way the Sisters taught and disciplined children. Based on the comments I received on Facebook, some orders seemed to be stricter than others.
I couldn’t agree with you more regarding how things changed after Vatican II, and how much I, too, appreciated the highly enlightened women who taught at MSJA. If you are able to track any of them down, I would very much like to add to the chorus of thanks for a fabulous education.
Sister Joan Wagner and Bea Manzella are both alive and doing well. At the SSJ residence in Clarence.
Despite being accused of being the smartest in our class at Nativity of the BVM, the nuns, particularly our Principal at the time, had issues with me. I was always in trouble for wearing my bangs too long and my skirts too short. Once Sister Julia tried to cut my bangs, but I refused to let her and, to my surprise, my mother backed me up. She told Sister Julia that if my bangs needed trimming, she would take me to have it done properly. I was also termed “boy crazy” because I had a boyfriend who would wait for me outside of school to walk home. But I also had a very good relationship with a younger nun who was our coach for basketball. I can’t remember her name at the moment, but she guided our team into winning many games and did it happily and proudly. So my opinion of nuns at the time wasn’t all bad.
Thank you Rosie, for your comment. Like many of us, your experience with nuns appears to have had its ups and downs. It is funny how many of us will remember forever at least one nun who changed our lives for the better. Oh and by the way, I’ve been called worse things than “boy crazy!”
This is something I always wondered about. I attended religious education classes for years at our local Catholic Church. When we arrived for our weekly sessions, we felt very unwanted and we totally dreaded going!!!!! I often wondered why they seemed so unhappy and totally miserable!!!! I felt that they were taking out their frustrations on us!!!! As a child it was hard to figure out!!!! Children are truly a joy and how blessed their life could have been if they would have embraced us……and in return we would have embraced them. Thank you!!
Thanks for your comment Patricia. I agree. It is sad that some of these women missed out on the joys of working with young children by choosing to focus on discipline, rather than affection.
I quite enjoyed that piece though I started to think while reading it of the various types of punishments I and other boys at my catholic school endured. Made to stand on a box in the middle of the separate boys recess area wearing a ribbon in our hair was the one I recall to this day. And that recess period lasted about half an hour, providing the lasses plenty of time to mock the boys. And they took to their job like journeymen.
However in retrospect I think it important to note that in the 50’s and 60’s physical and mental discipline (humiliation, fear, mockery, etc.) was widely accepted and indeed encouraged as the best way to make children behave. And good training for what was to come in life so the thinking went. My classmates and I saw this behavior at home and everywhere else in our culture, not just at school. So though we chaffed at the methods, things were what they were and nothing could be done other than to know that disobedience or stubbornness would come at a sharp and sometimes frightening price. Not all the nuns I knew or were tutored by were grouchy or obsessed but most lacked warmth for lack of a better word. And indeed as you mention, the older nuns were generally the ones I remember we feared the most. But our lay teachers used the same methods, often to a degree far more energetically than all but a few of the more senior and fearsome nuns. So I’m not sure at all whether the forces at work here were more weighted in favor of society at large beliefs reflected by our nuns and priests or catholic teaching practices in the hands of nuns struggling with their own demons.
Somehow over the next two decades such methods began to recede sharply in society and thence to schools, catholic or otherwise. Not exactly sure why. And the Catholic church changed dramatically as well to something softer and more forgiving as its membership leaked slowly away. Much debate on this I’m sure. And as you note, teacher standards and qualifications have changed. Too late for my generation, however.
You raise some very interesting points here, Mike. Societal changes as well as tectonic shifts in the Catholic Church have no doubt lead to gentler nuns, better Catholic schools, and happier students. Could you imagine any teacher today getting away with what they did back then? Thanks for taking the time to read the blog and leaving such a thoughtful comment.
Oh yes! I lots of memories from St John Gualbert in Cheektowaga! Got a great education from that strict discipline. Couple of knuckle slaps with the ruler and writing “I will not talk in class” a zillion times cured me of misbehavior!
One nun in particular stands out as having been influential on me: Sr. Mary Elizabeth! She was 7th grade teacher and was YOUNG! She had young ideas and I think opened the eyes to the “other world” that existed beyond our little school. She was my main motivating to becoming a teacher myself!
And then there was Sr Calista! 6th grade was a nightmare! She was old and angry…we kids used to call her Sr Attila the Nun!
Memories mostly good!
Thank you Elaine, for sharing your memories. Funny how many of us remember at least one nun who greatly influenced us in a positive way, while others–not so much!
I was also a young first grader when my knuckles got the dreaded ruler!
Thanks for your comment Diane. Based on all the Facebook comments I’ve received, we weren’t the only two!
I have a sister ‘sister’ who had nuns in grammar school & high school. She is older than I but I clearly remember her complaining about nuns and how they treated students.
I am sure the younger nuns were probably also treated badly by the older nuns. Thank you for sharing your story!
Wonderful article Moxie. Interesting observations and research. Thanks. I started out at Cathedral in kindergarten where at 5 years old, I was promptly taken into a cloak room and whacked harshly on the knuckles with a ruler for not completely knowing my prayers. My Mother just as promptly pulled me out of there and it was mercifully on to public grade school. Then it was back to the Catholic experience at Cardinal Dougherty for high school. I once took a viscous shot to the liver after I attracted the ire of our one legged math teacher for laughing at a guy he just comically bopped on the head with a book. Most of the guys got hit for being the wise guys that they were. Too many stories to tell. The movie Heaven Help Us (1985) starring Matt Dillion, John Hurd and Donald Sutherland kinda reminds me of the experience we all seemed to have in common.
Thank you John. I will check out that movie tonight!