Tag: Buffalo

Why “La Famiglia e Tutto” (Family is Everything)

Sicilians have a saying—La Famiglia e Tutto (Family is Everything)—and they live by what they say.

Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to speak to a lively group of people at the Centro Culturale Italiano (Italian Cultural Center) in Buffalo, NY. Ostensibly, folks came to hear me read from and talk about my novel, Virgin Snow, the setting of which is on the largely Sicilian (at the time) West Side of Buffalo in the late 1960s and 1970s.

One benefit of being an author is being able to share with readers such things as one’s motivation for writing and inspiration for particular characters and scenes. While I did indeed offer the audience some behind-the-scenes details, I had a hunch that it would be far more interesting for all of us to hear from folks in this diverse gathering, which ranged in age from 29 to 90, and learn about how and why the book connected with their lives and experiences.

Everyone in the room seemed to enjoy talking about Buffalo back in the day.


To facilitate this wider discussion, I decided to read a short passage from the novel, then let the audience share how the behavior of the characters and the themes explored in the story resonated with them. What followed, to my delight, was a wide-ranging and sometimes emotional discussion about what it was like to grow up in Buffalo at that time, in that neighborhood, and in that cultural environment.

I began by asking the audience how many of them grew up on the West Side, were of Sicilian or Italian heritage, and were raised in the Catholic religion. Nearly everyone raised their hand. So we talked about Saint Joseph’s Day and the bountiful tables of Sicilian foods prepared from scratch, about the changing role of the Catholic Church in family life, and we reminisced about neighborhood swimming pools, family-run grocery stores, and significant historical events of that time, like the riots in Buffalo (as well as across the country), the Vietnam War and the moon landing.

La famiglia

But the discussion seemed to always return to the idea of “family.” Sicilians have a saying—La Famiglia e Tutto (Family is Everything)—and they live by what they say. Everyone I knew on the West Side back then had family living nearby and they gathered frequently, especially on Sundays.

Both the audience and I laughed at the stories being told about Sicilian fathers and uncles giving prospective boyfriends the third degree, and Sicilian aunts trying to outdo each other with their cooking. Many at the event nodded knowingly when hearing about a widowed Sicilian mother who was struggling financially but too proud to go on welfare, and who never failed to put her family above all else.

The West Side circa 1970. Yes, some left because of the weather or economics, but others stayed.


I had also asked at the beginning of the talk, how many in the audience had left Buffalo during the tumultuous period in the late 1970s and early 1980s when the city endured bad weather, economic hardships and high unemployment, and how many had stayed. It turned out to be about half and half. Some of those who had left had only recently returned, in part because Buffalo is once again a vibrant and affordable city. But several noted they had come back home to Buffalo during the city’s darkest of times, just to be close to family again.

The Italian Cultural Center has a number of interesting displays depicting family life among Sicilian immigrants and their descendants.

What I took from these conversations is the sense that career opportunities and warmer weather might have lured some away, but in the end it was la famiglia that brought people back to Buffalo. And not simply family obligations like aging parents or help needed in the family business, but a sense of needing to belong to a close community again.

Few things in life bring more joy than shared holiday traditions, familiar comfort foods, family outings, and the retelling of old stories that never fail to bring laughter, no matter how many times they are told. Those of us who have left our familiar surroundings for a time know what it feels like to lose these things, and how wonderful it is to have them back again.

The cafe at the center offers fresh cappuccino and other Italian delights. It’s worth a visit!

Are you someone who left your hometown, only to return again later? If so, what brought you back? Or are you someone who stayed put, and if so, what kept you there? I would love to hear your stories as well!

Moxie Gardiner is a writer, gardener, and traveler who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. Virgin Snow is the first novel in what she hopes will be a trilogy. She is currently working on Book Two.


Whatever Happened to Beggar’s Night?

I have to wonder why the holiday is no longer popular in more Buffalo communities.

Long ago, deep in a West Side neighborhood where every house, on every block, was home to a passel of children, Beggar’s Night (October 30th) was something to behold. Legions of small monsters, ghosts, and superheroes knocked on the doors of neighbors, sometimes blocks away, in search of candy. Those of us who lived there at that time brought large brown shopping bags to collect our loot, and didn’t come home until the bag was getting too heavy to carry.

Little kids dressing up for Halloween
We loved Trick-or-Treating on Beggar’s Night.

A little research suggests that the tradition started back in the late 1930s when city fathers wanted to give the younger children a safer alternative to the hell-raising and vandalizing that was a significant part of Halloween at that time. No one ever told us this was the plan, so we happily went out trick-or-treating both nights, usually in homemade costumes made by our very thrifty and clever mom.

It seems that nowadays Beggar’s Night, for the most part, has gone the way of Michaelmas and Festivus—a holiday still celebrated, but only by a devoted few. In Buffalo, two communities—Kaisertown and Lovejoy—still carry on the tradition with gusto. They even have their own Facebook page providing updates on some of the best places to get candy. Beggar’s Night is also still a very big thing in Central Ohio, with the Mid-Ohio Regional Planning Commission organizing Beggar’s Night activities for the region.

Pinocchio costume
Apples used to be a special treat on Halloween.

As a now mature adult, I have to wonder why the holiday is no longer popular in more Buffalo communities, especially if the whole idea is to have a separate, safer night for the younger children. Maybe it’s because communities are no longer experiencing the rowdyism that used to be the hallmark of Halloween. Or, perhaps homeowners got tired of answering the door and shelling out candy two nights in a row.

Homemade Halloween costumes
Mom made our costumes back then.

Or maybe it’s because Halloween night itself is now big business, and no longer just for kids. Adults are expected to shell out over $4 billion for costumes this year and 32% of them will either go to a Halloween party or throw one of their own. Even pets are getting in on the act, with Americans expecting to spend some $700 million on costumes for their fur babies.

This year I will be trick-or-treating for the first time in a long time, now that I have a four-year-old in my life. I will be curious to see how kid-friendly Halloween is these days, and determine for myself whether or not Beggar’s Night should regain its rightful place in the list of US holidays to be celebrated.

Did you celebrate Beggar’s Night in your neighborhood? Please share your stories in the comments below!

Moxie Gardiner is a writer, gardener, and traveler who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates, grows tomatoes, and practices yoga. Virgin Snow is her first novel.

Why I Wrote a “Love Letter” to Buffalo

I wanted to begin a narrative that would trace the city’s arc from the first warning signs of a collapsing economy to its eventual rebirth and revitalization.

People who know that I worked in Washington, DC for many years have asked me, “Why write a book about Buffalo? Why not write about some of the things you must have witnessed—the political intrigue, scandals, or behind-the scenes shenanigans—in our Capital City?”

My answer to that is always the same: I don’t find that stuff interesting.

The truth is, I find Buffalo, and the people of Buffalo, fascinating. Why? Because it’s real. It’s the kind of town where families put down roots and stay for generations, where they know their neighbors as well as they know their own families.

Three generations of Buffalonians.

It is the kind of city that produces people who are tough and resilient. Buffalonians know how to bounce back from heartbreaking losses (Scott Norwood’s missed field goal in Superbowl XXV, anyone?) and economic ups and downs. They know how to deal quickly and efficiently with the kind of snow that would make a Washingtonian crawl back under the covers and weep. They are also unfailingly kind and generous people who are ready to step up and support a friend, a neighbor, even a stranger, in time of need.

I am proud to have been born and raised in Buffalo. And I am proud to call myself a West Sider. So my new novel, Virgin Snow, is my love letter, of sorts, to a place and a people I love.

Pretty much every Buffalonian knows what this man is doing to get rid of the ice in front of his storm drain.

With the perspective of watching Buffalo’s evolution for many decades, I wanted to begin a narrative that would trace the city’s arc from the time it saw its first warning signs of a collapsing economy to its darkest days when the city lost half its population, to its eventual rebirth and revitalization. With any luck, Virgin Snow is the first in a trilogy that follows that evolution full circle.

Yes, the book is intense in places, and it looks unblinkingly at some of the mistakes we’ve made here in the past. But if you love something, you love it warts and all. You take the good with the bad, the ups with the downs, the prettiness with the grittiness. That’s how I feel about Buffalo, and that’s the kind of book I wanted to write.

How do you feel about Buffalo? Do you live in Buffalo now? Are you part of the great Buffalo diaspora who moved during the late ‘70s and ‘80s? Or, are you a returnee who has recently come back home? I love hearing your stories, so please leave me your comments, below.

Moxie Gardiner is a writer, gardener, and traveler who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates, grows tomatoes, and practices yoga. Virgin Snow is her first novel.

Beyond the Library: The Quiet Evolution of Literary Buffalo

When visiting the city earlier this month, I learned that over the past half-century, Buffalo has become quite the literary town.

The central Buffalo & Erie County Public Library in downtown Buffalo. A total of 37 libraries and bookmobile services serve the greater Buffalo area today.

When I was a young lass, spending a few quiet hours in the small library on West Ferry Street in search of good fiction to read, I often looked for books set in my hometown of Buffalo, or anywhere, frankly, that vaguely resembled my beloved rust belt city. I wanted to read about the type of people I knew, the places I was familiar with, experiences that made sense to me.

What I usually found was–nada, nothing, zip, zilch.

The dearth of good writing about Buffalo back in the day must have been noted by a woman named Debora Ott, who in 1975 founded a literary movement she called “Just Buffalo.” In the beginning, she invited well-known authors and poets from other places to come to Buffalo to participate in readings.

Just Buffalo Literary Center’s colorful logo. Photo courtesy of Just Buffalo Literary Center.

Over the years, the organization branched out and became the Just Buffalo Literary Center, offering writing workshops, a literary magazine, poetry readings in its Silo City series, and a lecture series called BABEL which brings authors of worldwide renown to Buffalo. Now, some 50 years after its inception, Just Buffalo can claim credit for either hosting or participating in over 2,000 literary events.

Dog Ears Bookstore and Café in South Buffalo has a hometown atmosphere, a selection of local books, and as I can personally attest, great coffee and scones!

When visiting the city earlier this month, I learned that over the past half-century, Buffalo has become quite the literary town. Curious about the “LIT CITY” banners I saw hanging from street lamps downtown, I learned that Buffalo’s Mayor Byron Brown designated a section in the heart of the city as “The Literary Corridor of Buffalo.” The banners honor poets, novelists, and playwrights with connections to the town, including famous names such as Mark Twain, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Lucille Clifton, and Joyce Carol Oates. But alas, few if any of these authors wrote about Buffalo itself.

FITZ Books & Waffles downtown sells books that “reveal hidden histories and motivate us to be agents of change.” They also serve waffles at all times during open hours!

It was not until 1999, when Lauren Belfer published her novel, City of Light, that the first remarkable (in my humble opinion) work of fiction set in Buffalo, met with national and international acclaim.[1] Belfer is now recognized as one of the “LIT CIY” greats and is honored with a banner that hangs among those featuring other literary giants with a local connection.

Black Rock Books stocks a wide array of titles with emphasis on “literary fiction, underrepresented voices, and educational justice.“

Since publication of Belfer’s book, thanks to changes in the publishing industry, a number of good books about Buffalo—both fiction and non-fiction—are now available on bookshelves.[2]

What has truly gladdened my heart, however, is the fact that Buffalo now has a thriving home-grown book publishing industry,[3] along with 10 independent bookstores and an annual day established by the city government to celebrate them. It seems Buffalo has become not only a mecca for writers, but for readers as well.

Talking Leaves Books in Elmwood Village not only offers books, but a “safe and welcoming place for readers and writers to meet and engage with the ideas contained in them.”  

 

A visit to several Buffalo bookshops confirmed that local authors have pride of place on their shelves. I am truly honored that my newly published book, Virgin Snow, will soon be among them.

Toni Morrison once famously said, “If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, you must be the one to write it.” From childhood on, I always wanted to read a book about a girl growing up on Buffalo’s West Side who loved the city but like many, eventually had to leave it. I never did find a book like that, so I followed Ms. Morrison’s advice.

And now, there is such a book.

Moxie Gardiner is a writer, gardener, and traveler who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. Virgin Snow is her first novel.

Alice, Ever After Books, a woman-owned business, seeks to “inspire readers, old and young, beyond the pages of a book with classes, events, and community gatherings.“

[1] Belfer’s book, set in Buffalo during its gilded age, is a wonderful example of historical fiction at its best. For more about Belfer and her books check out https://laurenbelfer.com/books/city-of-light/

[2] Some of my other favorite books about or set in Buffalo include City On the Edge by Mark Goldman, Right Here, Right Now: The Buffalo Anthology, edited by Jody K. Biehl, and Big Russ and Me: Father and Son: Lessons of Life by Tim Russert.

[3] Mark Pogodzinski at NFB (aka No Frills Buffalo) Publishing, which published Virgin Snow, is one of several regional publishers in Buffalo willing to work with debut authors.

Secrets of the Scajaquada? Treasures of Tonawanda? Or…

This month I am asking readers, what are the undiscovered gems in Buffalo and the surrounding area that I need to visit this year?

Buffalo’s Garden Walk is always fabulous…

In July, I will spend a couple of weeks in a cozy little cottage that’s a stone’s throw from Lake Erie. It’s not far from Point Breeze, where my family rented a similar cottage while I was growing up, and oh, it brings back memories!

While I’m staying there, I like to invite friends and relatives to visit and enjoy the beach, they in turn invite me to visit them in Buffalo, and I never fail to take a drive through the old West Side. This year I have several big reunions to attend on the weekends, so it will be a happy, but very busy time.

But the Open Gardens just outside of Buffalo are equally beautiful. Photos by Moxie Gardiner.
I was delighted to learn about the one and only Kazoo Factory and Museum in Eden, NY, from a reader.

During the week though, when everyone goes back to work, things get quieter and I try to carve out time to explore the Western New York area and all it has to offer. I have my favorites of course—the Buffalo Garden Walk, the Italian Festival, and the Explore Buffalo tours that are always on offer.

But I’m on the lookout for new things and places to write about, and for old things that somehow I’ve missed before. My readers have always been so helpful when it comes to suggestions, so this month I am asking, what are the undiscovered gems in Buffalo and the surrounding area that I need to visit this year?

I’ve been going to Delaware Park since I was a child, but every time I go I find something new….

You’ll see from the photos that I love Buffalo’s parks and gardens, lively waterfront, unusual museums, historical places, and local festivals, among other things. While writing a recent blog about fossil hunting, I learned for the first time about the Penn Dixie Fossil Park and Nature Preserve in Blasdell, so that will be a priority. One of my blog readers suggested the Herschell Carrousel Factory Museum in North Tonawanda so I’ll check that out too.

Buffalo's Italian Heritage Festival is canceled this year.
There is lots to see and do at Buffalo’s Italian Heritage Festival, but I go for the food!

Also for the first time, I’ll have a fish fry at the Swannie House restaurant (the oldest in Buffalo) and tour Frank Lloyd Wright’s historic Darwin Martin House. But that still leaves time for plenty of other excursions!

Does Scajaquada Creek have its secrets, aside from the beautiful lily pond shown in the featured photo? Well, I only recently learned that British writer Shadrack Byfield was wounded there during the War of 1812, and ended up having his arm amputated. I’m sure there is more to learn (especially from the Buffalo History Museum which sits on its banks).

Kayaking is my favorite way to see Buffalo’s waterfront. Photo by Dean Gallagher.

I should mention that when my book, Virgin Snow, is published, (with any luck this summer, fingers crossed), I will be back again, probably more than once, to meet with book clubs and readers who like discussing what they read. Hopefully, those trips should afford me additional opportunities to visit places I’m not able to see in July.

Do you have a favorite, little known place in Buffalo, one that others might like to know about? Send me your ideas and suggestions in the comments below. I love to hear them, and you just might see your recommendation mentioned in a future blog!

And yes, I take time to enjoy the beach, and never, ever miss a Lake Erie sunrise, or sunset, if I can help it.

Moxie Gardiner is a writer, gardener, and traveler who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. She is almost ready to publish her first novel, set in Buffalo.

Publishing My West Side Story: It’s About to Get Real

Like every would-be author discovers, if writing a book isn’t difficult enough, the ordeal of trying to get it published tests all one’s powers of endurance.

Regular readers of my blogs will know that Buffalo and its people, history and culture are common themes in my writing. It was not until I left Buffalo that I realized how much I loved the city and the unforgettable inhabitants of the West Side where I grew up. Writing and thinking about them has given me greater insight into my own personal development, as well as respect for the city and the fundamental changes it has experienced.  

But even as I faithfully posted these monthly blogs, I continued to write something else about Buffalo, something larger in scope and deeper in its contemplation of what it was like to grow up there, to go to school there, to live there. For the past five years (although it feels like a lifetime), I’ve been writing a novel set in the city where I was born.

Titled Virgin Snow, my fictional story is about a young West Side girl, coming of age against a backdrop of unraveling family secrets and the legacy of lies told to protect them. It is the late 1960s and the country is in turmoil, Buffalo is teetering on the precipice of economic collapse, and the teachings of the Catholic Church are coming under question. Faith in those who run the country and seemingly every aspect of society, is crumbling. Uncertain who or what to trust, 13-year-old Cosi McCarthy resists her domineering mother and eventually throws in her lot with a “radical” nun who serves as her mentor, a savvy black psychiatric patient who has been unfairly confined, a conscientious objector who looks like Jesus, and the young man she secretly loves—a Vietnam Vet grappling with his own demons.

Like every would-be author discovers, if writing a book isn’t difficult enough, the ordeal of trying to get it published tests all one’s powers of endurance. I tried the usual route and it was like flinging my manuscript into a black hole. So I decided to explore the regional publishing route and was lucky to discover NFB Publishing, a company based in Buffalo itself. I was elated when I received a response from the publisher, indicating the beta-reader who vetted my story really liked it, and they would be proud to publish my book.

I’ll keep all my blog readers apprised of the book’s progress. I’m told that paperback and e-book copies should be available as soon as this summer, and can be ordered online directly from NFB Publishing or from Amazon, IngramSpark and other online booksellers, as well as purchased in bookstores in the Buffalo area.  

Once the book is out, I’ll be having some launch-related events and activities, particularly in the Buffalo area. It would be nice to sell a few copies as a result, but what I’m really looking forward to is sharing thoughts and conversations with readers about the things that formed the very fabric of our lives. I also hope to begin a conversation with readers unfamiliar with Buffalo, to immerse them in a world that has more to its credit than snow and “buffalo wings;” a city with an amazing history, incredible architecture, a beautiful waterfront, and interesting and diverse neighborhoods.

If you would like to learn more about Virgin Snow, please leave me comments in the section below. Once the book is published, look for a new space on this website for you to leave your comments and reactions to the book itself. As always, I look forward to hearing from you.

Moxie Gardiner is a writer and gardener who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. She is almost ready to publish her first novel, set in Buffalo.

A Buffalo Christmas to Remember

Everyone in my hometown of Buffalo, NY will have a story to tell about the “bombogenesis” blizzard that hit the city late this December, just as many of its native sons and daughters were traveling home to be with family for the Christmas holidays. I was one of those making the journey.

We walked through knee-deep snow to check on an elderly neighbor when we saw no lights in his house for two days. Thankfully, he was fine. All photos in this blog by Moxie Gardiner.

Fortunately, my story, unlike that of some others, is not a tragic one. As I write this the death toll in Erie County stands at 39 and may continue to climb as government workers and ordinary citizens uncover cars and homes buried in snow. Many residences lost power and heat for days, while temperatures outside dropped into the single digits (with wind chills plummeting to levels too low to contemplate as the winds raged between 70-80 mph). There are tales of first-responders trapped in their vehicles in whiteout conditions while attempting to assist those with medical emergencies, and of people becoming disoriented in the snow and dying within close proximity of their homes.  

Gale force winds weren’t going to stop this Bills fan from flying his flag on Christmas Eve.

Inevitably, some of the stories coming out now are political, complete with finger-pointing, second-guessing, and blame-casting. I will let the news organizations sort all that out. Certainly, it is important after being hit with the “storm of the century” that all concerned take a retrospective look at what could be done better next time. But I want to go on record with my story because I’m sure it’s representative of how ordinary people cope and come together in the face of an extraordinary disaster.

Buffalo is no stranger to winter storms, but this one was surprising in its ferocity. I was in my car, heading north into the city early Friday morning, December 23rd, somewhat reassured by updates from my son that conditions were “not that bad” where he was. Between 8 am and 9 am the temperature dropped rapidly and the winds began to rattle my car as I drove along Lake Shore Road, with large waves visibly crashing at water’s edge. Large branches were cracking and falling off trees, and when I reached the Thruway, I began to see jackknifed tractor trailers and cars that had skidded off the road. Rain turned to swirling snow in minutes. I said a prayer and got off the highway as soon as possible. I made it to my son’s house 20 minutes before the mandatory driving ban went into effect.

What was supposed to be a brief visit with family for dinner on Christmas Eve, and the opening of presents on Christmas morning, turned into an unanticipated five-day stay. Six of us had to figure out how to peacefully co-exist in a house with two bedrooms and one bathroom. There was no possibility that the food ordered for the holiday festivities could be picked up or delivered, so we made the most of the groceries and beverages we had. My son’s fiancé had wanted us all to shelter under one roof, and I will be forever grateful for her insistence that we gather in their new home to take care of each other.

We woke to beautiful sunshine on Christmas morning. The storm was over and the clean-up could begin.
Those who had neighbors with snow blowers were the lucky ones.

All through the blizzard my son would go out and start our cars so the batteries wouldn’t die, clear snow from heating vents and exhaust pipes, and check on neighbors. The young woman across the street was due to deliver her baby any day and we were prepared to assist with the delivery if she was unable to get to the hospital. We checked on an elderly neighbor next door to make sure he had enough food and his heat was working. When the storm was over, we paid a local company to plow the driveways of several nearby homes.

Others relied on a team with snow shovels to help dig them out.

Buffalo is known as “The City of Good Neighbors” and stories of Good Samaritans helping others were abundant throughout Erie County, the hardest hit area in New York state. We were worried about my elderly father who was home alone in Clarence during the storm and unreachable by car, but a neighbor he barely knew knocked on the door, fixed his broken thermostat, cleared enough snow for my Dad’s dog to get out and do her business, and brought him meatloaf for dinner. Thanks to this stranger, we could all breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that my Dad had someone to turn to in an emergency.

The Buffalo Bills’ win on Christmas Eve brightened everyone’s spirits, and as the sun rose on Christmas morning I got to see a three-year-old open her presents amid squeals of delight and repeated thanks to Santa and Rudolph for making it through the storm. Four generations of my new family came together under trying circumstances to celebrate Christmas with kindness, generosity, patience, and good cheer. No doubt the story of the Christmas blizzard of 2022 will be shared with many future generations, and in our case it will be told with a deep sense of gratitude that our winter’s tale had a happy ending.  

There is nothing more precious than the face of a three-year-old on Christmas morning.

Do you have a story you would like to share about the winter storm of Christmas 2022? Good or bad, please share. We’ll be telling these stories for years to come because, like the famous Blizzard of 1977, this was one for the record books.

The clean-up will take time. Some are counting on this weekend’s rain and warm weather to wash away large mounds of snow.

Moxie Gardiner is a writer, gardener, and traveler who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. She is almost ready to publish her first novel, set in Buffalo.

The Year I Met the Buffalo Bills

It was a beautiful summer day in early August, 1963. The Buffalo Bills, a young team that had been admitted into the American Football League just four years earlier, were wrapping up their annual summer training and getting ready for their first game of the season. The excitement in the city was palpable.

My Dad, a diehard fan of the team since day one, had seen an ad in the Buffalo Evening News for “Meet the Bills” day, with field events in the afternoon and an intra-squad game that evening. It was an opportunity to watch the veterans compete against the rookies, and to meet some of our hometown heroes. I was thrilled when Dad decided to take me to the event to get some autographs (FYI for those under 30, you couldn’t take a “group selfie” back in the day).

I was just a wee thing at the time, but I remember going to the old “rock pile,” otherwise known as War Memorial Stadium, a venue significantly smaller than the 70,000-seat Highmark Stadium in Orchard Park where the Bills play today. My Dad explained to me who everyone on the field was and what position they played, and pointed out who he considered to be the future superstars (as it turned out, he was right on most counts).

There was Lou Saban, Buffalo’s storied coach, on the field talking to players. Number 15, Jack Kemp, the quarterback, was warming up his arm, along with his back-up quarterback Daryle Lamonica. In the field events, Billy Shaw (a future Hall of Famer) and Pro-Bowler Tom Sestak would compete in the 50-yard dash for linemen. Cookie Gilchrist would show his stuff in the 50-yard dash for running backs, while Elbert Dubenion would compete against other receivers. It was really fun to watch Ed Rutkowski and Gene Sykes and other defensive backs compete in the 30-yard backward run. “They look good,” said my father, admiring the show. “This year they might go all the way.”

The list of field events for Meet the Bills day in 1963. Note that first prize in each category was $15!

After the competitions were over, we went down to the fence that surrounded the field where the players were signing autographs. There were lots of fans holding pieces of paper out to their favorites, like me hoping for an autograph. Many of the kids were big enough to play junior league football themselves, and I had a hard time pushing my way through the crowd and up to the fence, but my Dad put me on his shoulders and had no problem elbowing his way to the front. Then it was a matter of getting a player’s attention.

“Here’s how it done,” my Dad told me. “Hey, Jack Kemp!” he shouted. “If you’re not careful, you’ll have more blue freckles than brown ones with all these pens in your face.” Jack Kemp looked up, laughed, and signed my autograph book. “He’s not as good as Lamonica,” whispered Dad, searching the field in vain for his favorite Buffalo quarterback. Lamonica went on to star for the Oakland Raiders, and Kemp, despite not being my father’s fave, had several excellent seasons with the Bills and was awarded the AFL-MVP award in 1965. He later became a US Congressman and a Vice Presidential running-mate to Bob Dole, so I guess he was popular with some people.

Dad and I left “Meet the Bills” day bearing a half-dozen precious signatures and we watched every game that season on TV. (Dad hasn’t missed a Bills game yet.) The 1963 team ended with a 7-6-1 record and finished tied for first in the AFL East. In 1964 and 1965, they not only won their division but defeated the San Diego Chargers each year for the AFL championship. In 1966, they lost to the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFL title game and missed playing in the first Super Bowl. My young self was convinced we would win the Super Bowl the following year, but instead followed five years of mostly losses before the picture brightened again.

It has been nearly 60 years since I met my first Buffalo Bills. The team has had good seasons—even great seasons—including competing in four straight Super Bowls. They have had excellent coaches like Saban, Chuck Knox, and Marv Levy, and the current one, Sean McDermott, looks to be following in their footsteps. And of course they had superstar players in O.J. Simpson, Jim Kelly, Bruce Smith, Andre Reed, and Thurman Thomas. They’ve also had some terrible seasons, but at no time did I ever know a true Buffalonian to give up on the Bills.

As my Dad would say, there are no “fair weather fans” in Buffalo (OK—no jokes about no “fair weather” in Buffalo either). The view at the end of the season was always optimistic and “next year” was always going to be “our year.”

Now leading the charge for Buffalo is quarterback Josh Allen, a swoon-worthy young man who seems to be able to do it all. Having come close to reaching the summit of the league the previous two seasons, the Bills seem on track for another shot at glory. And there is talk all over Buffalo that “this year” will be the year our Bills will win the Super Bowl for the first time. If so, I plan to head back to Buffalo to get some autographs. Or at least a selfie.

Are you a Buffalo Bills fan and do you have a particular season you love to remember, or a favorite Bills player? Or have you, like some people, given up on the NFL altogether? I’d love to hear from you, in the comments below.

Moxie Gardiner is a writer, gardener, and traveler who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. She is almost ready to publish her first novel, set in Buffalo.

The Most Prestigious Club You Probably Never Heard Of

The imposing Charlotte Mulligan, founder of The Twentieth Century Club of Buffalo.

Tucked away a discrete distance from busy Delaware Avenue, and a stone’s throw from the famous Wilcox Mansion where Theodore Roosevelt was sworn in as President after the assassination of William McKinley, lies a stately Italian Renaissance-style structure that I suspect few people in Buffalo have ever noticed, let alone visited. It is the home of The Twentieth Century Club of Buffalo (or TCC), so named by its founder in 1894 to herald the arrival of a new century.[1]

What is interesting about the TCC, apart from its somewhat low profile, is that it is an all-womens’ organization, the second-oldest of its kind in the country. One might imagine that a club for women established in fin de siècle America — a time when floor-length dresses and lace mittens were still de rigueur — would be where the gentler sex gathered primarily to play cards and attend social events.

But what made this club unique and caused a stir at the time was that its founder, Charlotte Mulligan, a formidable woman of many accomplishments educated at Buffalo Seminary and president of the school’s Graduates Association, believed that women should be as well-informed and accomplished as men. Her vision was to establish a gathering place that provided the educated women of Buffalo with a wide range of literary, artistic, and musical pursuits after graduation.

The beautiful dining room, with its impressive columns and domed ceiling, has a stage for guest speakers.
I was treated to lunch in the South Loggia, bathed in the light of multi-colored glass windows.

I had the good fortune recently to have lunch at the TCC as a guest of its First Vice President/President-elect, Janice Worobec. In addition to sharing a brief history of the club, Janice offered me a tour of the elegant facility, still imbued with its nineteenth century charm and now on the National Register of Historic Places. Unlike many of the mansions on Delaware Ave, the building still boasts its original façade, mission, and tenant though the club has changed. “While keeping many traditions, members are cognizant that social clubs such as ours must evolve in order to remain relevant in today’s world,” explained Janice. She describes today’s members as “eclectic.”

Over the years, the 128-year-old Club has hosted an impressive list of speakers and notables, including First Ladies, foreign ministers, and royalty. It sponsored a number of social events associated with the 1901 Pan American Exposition and entertained visitors ranging from Vice President (at the time) Theodore Roosevelt, to Booker T. Washington and a Chinese Minister. During the two world wars, TCC members assisted the Red Cross with everything from first aid classes to surgical supplies, and invited speakers like the Vicomtesse de Rancougne to give a talk about her experiences at the front, and Randolph Churchill (son of Winston) to speak on “Europe Today.”

The TCC library.
(All blog photos by Moxie Gardiner.)

For me, as a writer and gardener, my lunchtime visit held two aspects of particular interest—the literature program and the garden. Since the Club’s inception, the Literary Committee has invited a wide array of impressive lecturers, including Robert Frost who offered thoughts on poetry, Thorton Wilder who gave a presentation on “Motion Pictures and Literature,” and many others, including such luminaries as Clifton Fadiman, Lillian Hellman, and Margaret Bourke-White. The Club also boasts a lending library established in 1896 which contains books from Charlotte Mulligan’s personal collection, a few first editions, and books on a wide array of topics befitting the scope of its members’ interests.

The garden, on the other hand, was not part of Ms. Mulligan’s original vision but was conceived when buildings behind the Club on Franklin Street were conveniently demolished. A garden committee was formed and to this day its members donate the plantings for an annual display that changes from fall to spring. The day I visited in early fall, this hidden bower was awash with colorful chrysanthemums, autumn joy sedum, coleus, and geraniums, accompanied by the cheerful sounds of a splashing fountain.

The club’s motto, Facta Probant, i.e., “Let Deeds Tell,” is seen here on the archway to the right.

Since its inception, the Club has suffered fires, financial difficulties, and a Supreme Court challenge over its all-woman membership policy in 1988, but it has endured. Is an all-womens’ club an anachronism in today’s world? That is not for me to judge. But I know that a club that promotes literature and the arts in Buffalo is not an idea past its time. I hope it will prosper well into the next century.

Are you a member of The Twentieth Century Club of Buffalo or one similar to it? What do you like best about yours? Or maybe you’re not a fan of clubs, but in favor of promoting literature and the arts? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Moxie Gardiner is a writer, gardener, and traveler who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. She is almost ready to publish her first novel, set in Buffalo.

[1] To commemorate its 125th Anniversary in 2019, the Twentieth Century Club published an updated chronology and history of the club, which was of great help in informing this blog.

The Hullabaloo over Same-Sex Schools

The benefits of going to a single-gender high school can’t be proven scientifically, but I can attest to my own experience.

I am a product of an all-girls high school, and compared to the co-ed schools I attended, I believe it was the best educational experience of my life.

That’s why I was surprised to hear how much controversy is swirling about these days, over whether single-gender schools do more harm than good. Back in the day, if you went to one of Buffalo’s Catholic elementary schools (most private schools were Catholic back then) you typically went on to attend a Catholic high school, and most Catholic high schools at that time were single sex. Parents, as far as I can remember, never questioned whether that was good or bad, so why all the hullabaloo today?

Single-sex education existed long before I went to school, dating back to at least the 1800s. My school, Mount Saint Joseph Academy, was actually established as a boarding school for girls in 1891. In the 1970s, when attitudes about same-sex schooling began to change, “The Mount” as we called it, began to admit boys. Less than 20 years later, the high school closed due to declining enrollment.

Today the controversy is not only over private, single-sex schools, but public ones. In early December, concepts for the proposed Shirley Chisholm School of Leadership for Young Women and the Barack Obama Leadership Academy for Young Men were presented to the Buffalo school board. Advocates argued that studies have shown that single-gender schools “help deter negative behaviors while limiting distractions and raising the competence and self-esteem levels of male and female students alike.”[1]

Opponents of single-sex education, however, argue that separating children by gender is sexist, leads to gender stereotyping, and offers no proven benefit. According to an article in The Atlantic magazine, a meta-analysis of 184 studies covering 1.6 million students from 21 countries indicates that “any purported benefits to single-sex education over coeducation, when looking at well-designed, controlled studies, are nonexistent to minimal.” [2]

OK, maybe the benefits of going to an all-girls high school can’t be proven scientifically, but I can attest to my own experience. Back when I went to school, educational and career expectations for teenage boys and girls were very different. For example, when you took the anonymized Kuder Occupational test in your senior year, the results were listed in two different columns. If you were a male, it said, you were most likely to be successful in these careers (for me, journalist, biologist, psychiatrist). The second column of careers, based on the exact same scores, were completely different if you were a female. I would probably have become a teacher or a nurse if I’d paid any attention to it. (I didn’t.)

The school I attended operated on the principle that girls could become whatever they wanted, if they worked hard enough. Even back then, my fellow Mounties and I were determined to get into good colleges. We took advanced placement courses and studied calculus, physics, and macroeconomics. We held leadership positions on the Student Council, Model UN, and debate team. We learned to have confidence in our abilities, to set ambitious goals, to speak boldly in the classroom, and expect others to listen to us.

No one was ever embarrassed about being too nerdy (I remember the boy in 6th grade who told me, after seeing all “A’s” on my report card, “No guy will ever want to go out with you”). We all wore the same boring black uniforms, so no one got to be “cool,” based on how they dressed.

Most importantly, we developed deep, intellectual, and lasting relationships with other girls, rather than investing all our energy in fleeting high school romances. I am told that boys had similar experiences in same-sex schools, often forging lifelong relationships with their peers.

I keep in touch with high school friends to this day, despite the geographical distance between us. If there is anything I learned from the ongoing isolation of the pandemic years, it is that true friendships are of far greater value than any college degrees I earned, or career successes I enjoyed.  

Perhaps times have changed to the point where this old educational model is no longer appropriate, thus the raging debate. This year, my fellow Mounties and I hope to celebrate our Class of ’72 milestone reunion. We’ve heard from classmates living as far away as Sweden that they hope to attend. I am eager to hear whether their views of the benefits of our type of education are similar to mine. I’d be surprised if they weren’t.

Did you ever attend a single-gender school? Were your experiences good, bad, or indifferent? I would love to hear your views on this, in the comments below.

Moxie Gardiner is a writer and gardener who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. She is almost ready to publish her first novel, set in Buffalo.

[1] https://buffalonews.com/news/local/single-sex-academies-could-debut-in-buffalo-public-school-district-as-early-as-2023/article_f39443f2-589b-11ec-b29f-37515f890d36.html

[2] https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/03/the-never-ending-controversy-over-all-girls-education/284508/#:~:text=The%20Never-Ending%20Controversy%20Over%20All-Girls%20Education%20It%27s%20extremely,said%20she%20would%20never%20attend%20an%20all-girls%20school.