Writing - Moxie Gardiner

The Magnificent Willows of Western New York

For centuries, poets, writers and philosophers have been inspired by weeping willow trees. So have I.

I love all trees. Horse chestnuts, hackberries, hickories and hornbeams. Oak trees, pine trees, palm trees, even family trees. But my favorite of all the arboreal sentinels, the evocative one that brings back childhood memories of summer picnics, warm breezes, and first kisses under its lovely, curtain-like fronds, is salix babylonica, commonly known as the weeping willow.

For centuries, poets, writers and philosophers have been inspired by willow trees, as have I. [1] William Makepeace Thackeray, a 19^th poet and author of Vanity Fair, wrote an ode about its appeal as a trysting place for lovers, entitled “The Willow-Tree.”

Once to the willow-tree
A maid came fearful,
Pale seemed her cheek to be,
Her blue eye tearful;
Soon as she saw the tree,
Her step moved fleeter,
No one was there—ah me!
No one to meet her!

*Many a romance has begun in the willow’s hidden bower.* *All photos ©* *Moxie Gardiner.*

But it isn’t love alone that this unusual looking tree evokes. The tiny, cascading leaves are thought to resemble falling tears, and so the tree is sometimes associated with melancholy and sadness, even death. Unsurprisingly, specimens can be found in Buffalo’s Forest Lawn and other cemeteries. There is also the tragic story of some 300 soldiers who died of illness during the War of 1812 in a place not far from Buffalo’s Delaware Park, and buried in shallow graves. A Dr. Daniel Chapin, who lived nearby, is said to have later reburied the men and marked the spot with willow trees.[2]

*Willows thrive on the banks of rivers and ponds like this one near the Buffalo History Museum’s Japanese Garden.*

Today, weeping willows can be found throughout Buffalo’s beautifully landscaped park system. Intrigued by the mysteries of the weeping willow, I am always on the lookout for one, and was therefore overjoyed to discover two enormous specimens swaying over Hoyt Lake on a recent visit to Delaware Park. I assumed, based on their size, that they had to be hundreds of years old. But after some research I have since learned that weeping willows grow rapidly, and unfortunately, only live for about 65 years.

Which begged the question why, if they are so comparatively short-lived, have I seen so many willow trees throughout the parks, meadows, cemeteries, and along the waterways of Western New York?

*This past year, I planted my very own weeping willow by the pond for further inspiration.*

It turns out that this part of the state provides the ideal habitat for weeping willows, thanks to its proximity to the Great Lakes and plenty of lake-effect moisture. These trees love damp environments and can consume up to 100 gallons of water a day, so I expect they will be a feature of the Western New York landscape for many centuries to come.

Does the weeping willow have the same emotional impact on you that it has on me? What memories does it conjure—happiness, sadness, or fond memories of secret dalliances under its enchanting boughs? Please share your thoughts in the comments, below!

Moxie Gardiner is a writer, gardener, and traveler who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. Virgin Snow is her first novel.

[1] His poem also inspired a chapter in my novel, Virgin Snow.

[2] For more information about this tragic event, see 300 bodies in Delaware Park: The War of 1812 | Features | buffalospree.com

Everything You Wanted to Know About the Infant of Prague

So ubiquitous was the Infant of Prague statue in West Side homes that as a child, I assumed every house in the world had one.

Some readers (mostly non-Catholics) have expressed curiosity about the references in my recent novel, Virgin Snow, to a type of statue known as “the Infant of Prague.” In the story, one of the characters decides to open a shop in her garage where she will create and sell beautiful garments for people to dress their statues, which represent Jesus as a child.

This scene was inspired by an actual Infant of Prague shop operated for years by a woman named Lena in a store front on Buffalo’s West Side. Many was the day that I walked by the window to check out Lena’s new garments, which changed in both color and style along with the Catholic liturgical seasons.

*The crown on the head of the statue symbolizes Christ as king. All photos by Moxie Gardiner*

So ubiquitous was the Infant of Prague statue in West Side homes that as a child, I assumed every house in the world had one. It did not occur to me that others might not, until I actually went to Prague, the capital of the Czech Republic, for a conference. I was traveling with a colleague who asked if we could stop in one of the souvenir shops as we walked back toward our hotel at the end of the day. She said she was hoping to find a small statue made famous by the city. “You mean the Infant of Prague, right?” I asked. She looked at me strangely.

“No,” she said. “I want to buy a statue of the Golem of Prague.” Now I looked at her strangely, as I had never heard of the Golem. So we walked to the Christmas Market on Wenceslas Square (it was early December) and, over a glass of hot Glühwein, we began to tell each other what we knew of these religious figures and their history.

As she began to ask questions, I very quickly realized that despite the number of times I had seen the statue I was familiar with, I didn’t know much about the Infant of Prague. “Why do they call it an infant?” she asked after I described the statue. I didn’t have a very good answer. “Why fancy robes? Why a crown? And what,” she asked finally, “did Jesus have to do with Prague?”

I had my own questions for her about the Golem, a mythical man created out of clay. “He is an important part of Jewish legend,” she said. “But he’s not as elegant as your little king.”

*The globe symbolizes Christ’s worldly domain.*

Years later, while doing research for my novel, I found answers to many of my friend’s questions. No, the Infant of Prague is not a baby, but a representation of Christ as a child. No, the statue does not have its origins in Prague. According to the website of “The League of the Miraculous Infant Jesus of Prague,” the statue was a royal wedding gift given by a Spanish Princess to her Austrian royal cousin in the 1500s, and later donated to a group of Carmelite friars in Prague. The robes, crown and miniature globe symbolize the “world-wide kingship” of the Christ Child.[1]

*Green signifies “ordinary” days in the liturgical calendar. Note, however, the fine gold brocade.*

According to that website, many miracles have occurred through “intercession to the Divine Infant.” During one conflict, it says, all the children of the city were taken to the Church for protection, and by praying to the Infant, they were all saved.

I have since learned that there is a similar story about the Golem. [2] A certain Rabbi Judah Loew of Prague in the 1500s was said to have made a powerful living creature out of mud which he called the Golem, a kind of combination man-monster whose purpose was to defend the Jewish community from violent attacks. Since that time, the Golem has been a popular figure with both Jews and non-Jews. According to several websites, plays, novels, movies, musicals and even a ballet have drawn on the tale of the Golem, including Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Today, a visitor to Prague can even take a “Golem tour” by exploring various locations in the Jewish Quarter.

When I think back to my visit to Prague, I’ll always remember our mutual surprise when my friend and I discovered we were talking about two different religious statues, and then learning how different the two were—one of the Christ child dressed as a king, the other of a towering man made of clay. What strikes me now though, is their similarities. People of many religious traditions who have felt powerless and persecuted at times throughout history understandably turn to the divine or the mystical for salvation, represented by symbols such as these.

I am curious to know how many of my readers had religious statues in their homes while growing up, or were told stories and legends that embraced the sacred, the mystical or the divine. I would also love to know if religion still plays an important role in your life. Please share your comments, below!

[1] For much more information on the history of the Infant of Prague go to: https://www.ewtn.com/catholicism/library/history-of-the-infant-jesus-of-prague-1329

[2] For additional info on the Golem go to: https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/golem/

A Letter of Gratitude to Those Who Read Books

You are the ones who will have the wisdom, the vocabulary, the critical reasoning and the empathy to make the world a better place.

Where would writers be without readers?

*Nothing makes me smile more than a bookstore full of happy readers.*

After the first of the New Year, I will begin in earnest to write my second novel. Today, as I contemplate the energy, creativity and mental stamina it will require to write another 100,000 words, the thing that propels me forward is the possibility that someone out there will read the book and hopefully get something out of it.

But I know that reading 100,000 words requires a lot of energy too. Unlike passively watching a TV show or movie, laughing at Instagram reels, or listening to a podcast while we apply our nail polish—reading is an active pursuit. It requires you to sit down, focus and commit precious time to immersing yourself in another world.

According to recent polls, the average American adult spends an average of just 15-20 minutes a day reading. Some of that time is spent perusing emails, texts, news headlines and social media feeds, rather than reading books. Many who spend a good part of their day reading for work or school turn to other forms of entertainment for relaxation.

One Gallup poll confirmed that Americans are reading an average of three fewer books a year (roughly a dozen per year) than they did five years ago. The decline is not because fewer Americans are reading, but because those who do—especially college graduates, women and older Americans—are reading less.

This development caught my attention because these three groups form the target audience for my novels. Expecting these folks to not only buy my books, but to sit down and read them when so many other things are competing for their attention, is a big ask. All I can do is remind my potential readers of the many benefits of reading books for entertainment, information, self-improvement and enjoyment—and hope for the best.

*The Bookworm in East Aurora dedicates and entire section of the store to local authors*

A major benefit, I would argue, is that reading books introduces people to new words and improves vocabulary better than any other medium. Books help us improve our concentration and cognitive skills like critical thinking, reasoning and analysis. Reading is brain exercise that requires vision and imagination. It may even help prevent Alzheimer’s in our later years.

*As I close out my first year as a published author, a big THANK YOU to all my readers.*

A book is also a good friend to have if you’re lonely, stressed or even depressed. Studies have found that a nighttime routine of reading a book can help you sleep longer and better.

A good book also creates empathy. Diving into a novel about an unfamiliar group or culture can create understanding and connections. I hope, for example, that by reading Virgin Snow, people who did not grow up in Buffalo during that time and place will gain some insight into what life was like then, and why some of us turned out the way we did.

To those who still read a good book or two every month, I salute you. To those in Book Clubs who take the time to digest and discuss the books that they read–you have my deepest respect. You are the ones who will have the wisdom, the vocabulary, the critical reasoning and the empathy to make the world a better place. Yes, reading is good for you, but what you learn from reading is good for the rest of us too. And I for one, don’t know what I’d do without you, dear readers.

So thank you.

Do you read books? And if so, what kinds of books do you like to read? What benefits does reading provide you that I haven’t mentioned above? Please share your thoughts in the comments, below.

Did you buy a copy of Virgin Snow? If so, check to see if you made the gallery of readers at the Virgin Snow tab above, or search on the link below.

Virgin Snow, A Novel

Moxie Gardiner is a writer, gardener, and traveler who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates, grows tomatoes, and enjoys a good online Zumba routine at home on winter evenings. Virgin Snow is her first novel.

“Snow Sausages,” a Christmas Story of Love and Loss, December 1968

Family traditions are an important element of the Christmas holiday season, and the old West Side of Buffalo had some unique ones.

My recently published novel, Virgin Snow, includes the following vignette, which I have learned over the course of several book-signings and discussions has struck a chord with many readers. This story of a family holding onto its Christmas Eve rituals, while coping with a recent tragedy, is something I too have experienced, although much later in life. I share it here to remind us all that the holiday season, while joyful, can also be a time of sorrow for some, and there is no better time than Christmas to hold our loved ones close.

*************************************************

On Christmas Eve, Cosi McCarthy and her older sister, Little Ange, dragged a half-frozen pine tree out of the trunk of their father’s old Ford Falcon, up the linoleum-covered stairs, and into their apartment, leaving a trail of melting snow and pine needles in their wake. Cosi was thrilled when her mother, Big Ange, said they could stay up past midnight to welcome Jesus’ birthday, grill some meat, and “break the fast” they had all been observing during Advent. At dinner, they had the traditional “feast of the seven fishes,” though all they could afford was pasta with canned clam sauce. “Seven clams on each plate,” said Big Ange. “Close enough,”

As the hour approached, neighbors began to drag out their charcoal grills. Later, after attending midnight mass, they would return to cook spicy Italian sausages to signal an end to the six-week fast. Cosi knew her parents, like others in the neighborhood, usually observed this ritual long after the children were in bed. This Christmas Eve, the first without her husband, Big Ange would let the girls participate.

Cosi decorated the tree with her mother while her little brother Nino slept, and Little Ange stood in the driveway, attempting to light the charcoal briquettes in the rusting grill. The snow was falling in big wet flakes, making the charcoal difficult to light.

“This is effing stupid, Mama” called Little Ange several times from the driveway.

Cosi, in her nightgown, winter coat, and rubber boots, came out with an umbrella. She held it over her sister while Little Ange squirted more lighter fluid and tried again. Before long, the coals were burning brightly. Big Ange came down with a string of sausages, bought earlier that day from Zarcone’s, then went back up to fry onions and green peppers while the girls stood under the umbrella and watched the meat sizzle.

The night seemed magical to Cosi. The softly falling snow, the companionable heat of the coals, and the delightful aroma wafting from the grill, wrapped her in a warm cocoon of love, neighborhood, and family. She stepped outside the umbrella, closed her eyes and let the flakes tickle her cheeks.

“Hey,” said Little Ange, looking at her watch. “It’s Christmas. Wanna smoke a joint to celebrate?”

“Are you crazy?” Cosi hissed.

Their mother appeared out of nowhere, holding a plate of warm rolls filled with the fried vegetables. Little Ange shot her sister a warning but Cosi knew better than to say anything. The snow slowed to a few flakes and Big Ange stuck the string of sausages with a long fork and neatly cut off two for each of them, nestling them carefully in the buns. She had also brought down three small glasses of Whiskey Sours, topped with maraschino cherries, and stood silently for a moment, looking at the glowing briquettes. She handed Cosi the plate of sausages, turned her face to the dark sky, and held up her glass.

“Salud,” said Big Ange, “and Merry Christmas, Johnny, wherever you are. Our little Cositina, you will be proud to know, is on her way to becoming a nun. Little Ange is, well, what you’d expect. Nino is doing OK and I am making a little money. We’re trying our best down here, so if you do see God, please ask him to make next year a better one for the McCarthy family.”

Little Ange drank her Whiskey Sour in one gulp, handed Cosi her sausages, and walked down the snowy street to smoke her Christmas joint.

*************************************************

Do you have memories of a Christmas like this one, or family rituals you would like to share? If so, please do so in the comments below.

Moxie Gardiner is a writer, gardener, and traveler who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates, grows tomatoes, and enjoys a good Zumba routine on winter evenings . Virgin Snow is her first novel.

Why I Wrote a “Love Letter” to Buffalo

I wanted to begin a narrative that would trace the city’s arc from the first warning signs of a collapsing economy to its eventual rebirth and revitalization.

People who know that I worked in Washington, DC for many years have asked me, “Why write a book about Buffalo? Why not write about some of the things you must have witnessed—the political intrigue, scandals, or behind-the scenes shenanigans—in our Capital City?”

My answer to that is always the same: I don’t find that stuff interesting.

The truth is, I find Buffalo, and the people of Buffalo, fascinating. Why? Because it’s real. It’s the kind of town where families put down roots and stay for generations, where they know their neighbors as well as they know their own families.

It is the kind of city that produces people who are tough and resilient. Buffalonians know how to bounce back from heartbreaking losses (Scott Norwood’s missed field goal in Superbowl XXV, anyone?) and economic ups and downs. They know how to deal quickly and efficiently with the kind of snow that would make a Washingtonian crawl back under the covers and weep. They are also unfailingly kind and generous people who are ready to step up and support a friend, a neighbor, even a stranger, in time of need.

I am proud to have been born and raised in Buffalo. And I am proud to call myself a West Sider. So my new novel, Virgin Snow, is my love letter, of sorts, to a place and a people I love.

*Pretty much every Buffalonian knows what this man is doing to get rid of the ice in front of his storm drain.*

With the perspective of watching Buffalo’s evolution for many decades, I wanted to begin a narrative that would trace the city’s arc from the time it saw its first warning signs of a collapsing economy to its darkest days when the city lost half its population, to its eventual rebirth and revitalization. With any luck, Virgin Snow is the first in a trilogy that follows that evolution full circle.

Yes, the book is intense in places, and it looks unblinkingly at some of the mistakes we’ve made here in the past. But if you love something, you love it warts and all. You take the good with the bad, the ups with the downs, the prettiness with the grittiness. That’s how I feel about Buffalo, and that’s the kind of book I wanted to write.

How do you feel about Buffalo? Do you live in Buffalo now? Are you part of the great Buffalo diaspora who moved during the late ‘70s and ‘80s? Or, are you a returnee who has recently come back home? I love hearing your stories, so please leave me your comments, below.

Moxie Gardiner is a writer, gardener, and traveler who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates, grows tomatoes, and practices yoga. Virgin Snow is her first novel.

Beyond the Library: The Quiet Evolution of Literary Buffalo

When visiting the city earlier this month, I learned that over the past half-century, Buffalo has become quite the literary town.

*The central Buffalo & Erie County Public Library in downtown Buffalo. A total of 37 libraries and bookmobile services serve the greater Buffalo area today.*

When I was a young lass, spending a few quiet hours in the small library on West Ferry Street in search of good fiction to read, I often looked for books set in my hometown of Buffalo, or anywhere, frankly, that vaguely resembled my beloved rust belt city. I wanted to read about the type of people I knew, the places I was familiar with, experiences that made sense to me.

What I usually found was–nada, nothing, zip, zilch.

The dearth of good writing about Buffalo back in the day must have been noted by a woman named Debora Ott, who in 1975 founded a literary movement she called “Just Buffalo.” In the beginning, she invited well-known authors and poets from other places to come to Buffalo to participate in readings.

*Just Buffalo Literary Center’s colorful logo. Photo courtesy of Just Buffalo Literary Center.*

Over the years, the organization branched out and became the Just Buffalo Literary Center, offering writing workshops, a literary magazine, poetry readings in its Silo City series, and a lecture series called BABEL which brings authors of worldwide renown to Buffalo. Now, some 50 years after its inception, Just Buffalo can claim credit for either hosting or participating in over 2,000 literary events.

*Dog Ears Bookstore and Café in South Buffalo has a hometown atmosphere, a selection of local books, and as I can personally attest, great coffee and scones!*

When visiting the city earlier this month, I learned that over the past half-century, Buffalo has become quite the literary town. Curious about the “LIT CITY” banners I saw hanging from street lamps downtown, I learned that Buffalo’s Mayor Byron Brown designated a section in the heart of the city as “The Literary Corridor of Buffalo.” The banners honor poets, novelists, and playwrights with connections to the town, including famous names such as Mark Twain, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Lucille Clifton, and Joyce Carol Oates. But alas, few if any of these authors wrote about Buffalo itself.

*FITZ Books & Waffles downtown sells books that “reveal hidden histories and motivate us to be agents of change.” They also serve waffles at all times during open hours!*

It was not until 1999, when Lauren Belfer published her novel, City of Light, that the first remarkable (in my humble opinion) work of fiction set in Buffalo, met with national and international acclaim.[1] Belfer is now recognized as one of the “LIT CIY” greats and is honored with a banner that hangs among those featuring other literary giants with a local connection.

*Black Rock Books stocks a wide array of titles with emphasis on “literary fiction, underrepresented voices, and educational justice.*“

Since publication of Belfer’s book, thanks to changes in the publishing industry, a number of good books about Buffalo—both fiction and non-fiction—are now available on bookshelves.[2]

What has truly gladdened my heart, however, is the fact that Buffalo now has a thriving home-grown book publishing industry,[3] along with 10 independent bookstores and an annual day established by the city government to celebrate them. It seems Buffalo has become not only a mecca for writers, but for readers as well.

*Talking Leaves Books in Elmwood Village not only offers books, but a “safe and welcoming place for readers and writers to meet and engage with the ideas contained in them.”*

A visit to several Buffalo bookshops confirmed that local authors have pride of place on their shelves. I am truly honored that my newly published book, Virgin Snow, will soon be among them.

Toni Morrison once famously said, “If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, you must be the one to write it.” From childhood on, I always wanted to read a book about a girl growing up on Buffalo’s West Side who loved the city but like many, eventually had to leave it. I never did find a book like that, so I followed Ms. Morrison’s advice.

And now, there is such a book.

*Alice, Ever After Books, a woman-owned business, seeks to “inspire readers, old and young, beyond the pages of a book with classes, events, and community gatherings.*“

[1] Belfer’s book, set in Buffalo during its gilded age, is a wonderful example of historical fiction at its best. For more about Belfer and her books check out https://laurenbelfer.com/books/city-of-light/

[2] Some of my other favorite books about or set in Buffalo include City On the Edge by Mark Goldman, Right Here, Right Now: The Buffalo Anthology, edited by Jody K. Biehl, and Big Russ and Me: Father and Son: Lessons of Life by Tim Russert.

[3] Mark Pogodzinski at NFB (aka No Frills Buffalo) Publishing, which published Virgin Snow, is one of several regional publishers in Buffalo willing to work with debut authors.

Secrets of the Scajaquada? Treasures of Tonawanda? Or…

This month I am asking readers, what are the undiscovered gems in Buffalo and the surrounding area that I need to visit this year?

*Buffalo’s Garden Walk is always fabulous…*

In July, I will spend a couple of weeks in a cozy little cottage that’s a stone’s throw from Lake Erie. It’s not far from Point Breeze, where my family rented a similar cottage while I was growing up, and oh, it brings back memories!

While I’m staying there, I like to invite friends and relatives to visit and enjoy the beach, they in turn invite me to visit them in Buffalo, and I never fail to take a drive through the old West Side. This year I have several big reunions to attend on the weekends, so it will be a happy, but very busy time.

*But the Open Gardens just outside of Buffalo are equally beautiful. Photos by Moxie Gardiner.*

*I was delighted to learn about the one and only Kazoo Factory and Museum in Eden, NY, from a reader.*

During the week though, when everyone goes back to work, things get quieter and I try to carve out time to explore the Western New York area and all it has to offer. I have my favorites of course—the Buffalo Garden Walk, the Italian Festival, and the Explore Buffalo tours that are always on offer.

But I’m on the lookout for new things and places to write about, and for old things that somehow I’ve missed before. My readers have always been so helpful when it comes to suggestions, so this month I am asking, what are the undiscovered gems in Buffalo and the surrounding area that I need to visit this year?

*I’ve been going to Delaware Park since I was a child, but every time I go I find something new….*

You’ll see from the photos that I love Buffalo’s parks and gardens, lively waterfront, unusual museums, historical places, and local festivals, among other things. While writing a recent blog about fossil hunting, I learned for the first time about the Penn Dixie Fossil Park and Nature Preserve in Blasdell, so that will be a priority. One of my blog readers suggested the Herschell Carrousel Factory Museum in North Tonawanda so I’ll check that out too.

Buffalo's Italian Heritage Festival is canceled this year. — *There is lots to see and do at Buffalo’s Italian Heritage Festival*, *but I go for the food!*

Also for the first time, I’ll have a fish fry at the Swannie House restaurant (the oldest in Buffalo) and tour Frank Lloyd Wright’s historic Darwin Martin House. But that still leaves time for plenty of other excursions!

Does Scajaquada Creek have its secrets, aside from the beautiful lily pond shown in the featured photo? Well, I only recently learned that British writer Shadrack Byfield was wounded there during the War of 1812, and ended up having his arm amputated. I’m sure there is more to learn (especially from the Buffalo History Museum which sits on its banks).

*Kayaking is my favorite way to see Buffalo’s waterfront. Photo by Dean Gallagher.*

I should mention that when my book, Virgin Snow, is published, (with any luck this summer, fingers crossed), I will be back again, probably more than once, to meet with book clubs and readers who like discussing what they read. Hopefully, those trips should afford me additional opportunities to visit places I’m not able to see in July.

Do you have a favorite, little known place in Buffalo, one that others might like to know about? Send me your ideas and suggestions in the comments below. I love to hear them, and you just might see your recommendation mentioned in a future blog!

*And yes, I take time to enjoy the beach, and never, ever miss a Lake Erie sunrise, or sunset, if I can help it.*

Publishing My West Side Story: It’s About to Get Real

Like every would-be author discovers, if writing a book isn’t difficult enough, the ordeal of trying to get it published tests all one’s powers of endurance.

Regular readers of my blogs will know that Buffalo and its people, history and culture are common themes in my writing. It was not until I left Buffalo that I realized how much I loved the city and the unforgettable inhabitants of the West Side where I grew up. Writing and thinking about them has given me greater insight into my own personal development, as well as respect for the city and the fundamental changes it has experienced.

But even as I faithfully posted these monthly blogs, I continued to write something else about Buffalo, something larger in scope and deeper in its contemplation of what it was like to grow up there, to go to school there, to live there. For the past five years (although it feels like a lifetime), I’ve been writing a novel set in the city where I was born.

Titled Virgin Snow, my fictional story is about a young West Side girl, coming of age against a backdrop of unraveling family secrets and the legacy of lies told to protect them. It is the late 1960s and the country is in turmoil, Buffalo is teetering on the precipice of economic collapse, and the teachings of the Catholic Church are coming under question. Faith in those who run the country and seemingly every aspect of society, is crumbling. Uncertain who or what to trust, 13-year-old Cosi McCarthy resists her domineering mother and eventually throws in her lot with a “radical” nun who serves as her mentor, a savvy black psychiatric patient who has been unfairly confined, a conscientious objector who looks like Jesus, and the young man she secretly loves—a Vietnam Vet grappling with his own demons.

Like every would-be author discovers, if writing a book isn’t difficult enough, the ordeal of trying to get it published tests all one’s powers of endurance. I tried the usual route and it was like flinging my manuscript into a black hole. So I decided to explore the regional publishing route and was lucky to discover NFB Publishing, a company based in Buffalo itself. I was elated when I received a response from the publisher, indicating the beta-reader who vetted my story really liked it, and they would be proud to publish my book.

I’ll keep all my blog readers apprised of the book’s progress. I’m told that paperback and e-book copies should be available as soon as this summer, and can be ordered online directly from NFB Publishing or from Amazon, IngramSpark and other online booksellers, as well as purchased in bookstores in the Buffalo area.

Once the book is out, I’ll be having some launch-related events and activities, particularly in the Buffalo area. It would be nice to sell a few copies as a result, but what I’m really looking forward to is sharing thoughts and conversations with readers about the things that formed the very fabric of our lives. I also hope to begin a conversation with readers unfamiliar with Buffalo, to immerse them in a world that has more to its credit than snow and “buffalo wings;” a city with an amazing history, incredible architecture, a beautiful waterfront, and interesting and diverse neighborhoods.

If you would like to learn more about Virgin Snow, please leave me comments in the section below. Once the book is published, look for a new space on this website for you to leave your comments and reactions to the book itself. As always, I look forward to hearing from you.

Moxie Gardiner is a writer and gardener who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. She is almost ready to publish her first novel, set in Buffalo.

Merry One-armed Christmas!

I have a friend named Omar who paints houses. He also happens to have only one arm. He fell out of a tree when he was a child in his native Honduras, and his family didn’t have the money to have it fixed. Gangrene set in, and he had it amputated above the elbow. The first time we met him he was carrying a ladder under his left arm and a can of paint in his left hand. He wore no prosthesis where his right arm had been, but he was walking down the street smiling, as if he hadn’t a care in the world.

I have always admired Omar for his tenacity and cheerful demeanor, but my respect for him has recently gone up several notches. Last Thursday, I fell and broke my right wrist and now have the use of only one hand. Believe me, it is a humbling experience, especially at Christmas time.

*Everything is harder. Try rolling pie crust with one hand!*

Think about it. Wrapping gifts with one hand? Very difficult. Rolling out cookie dough or pie crust? Impossible. Cutting anything harder than butter? Forget it. Writing Christmas cards? Opening jars of jelly and jam? Putting frosting on the cake? Peeling a Clementine? Cracking a walnut? Even unwrapping Christmas gifts isn’t easy. I might have started feeling sorry for myself if I didn’t have a role model like my friend, Omar the painter.

So I set about learning how to do things with my left hand. Basic hygiene was a priority. I figured out how to put the toothpaste on the toothbrush while holding the end of the brush in my teeth. I figured out how to squirt the exact amount of shampoo on my head without looking. Writing was the next hurdle. Typing with just my left hand is slow, but I’m getting used to it, and I discovered I could write my blog using voice recognition technology on my iPad. It also helps to have an angel for a husband who is there to cook and drive me places, since I won’t be doing those things by myself for a while.

*With a few days of practice, I’ve already gotten better at writing*
*with my left hand!*

The best thing to come out of this experience is the dawning recognition of how lucky I am to be of sound mind and (somewhat) sound body at my age. I am glad I had this reminder of how quickly life can change in an instant, and the importance of so many things we take for granted.

This Christmas, I will raise an eggnog toast with my good left hand to Omar, and to all the people who face far more serious challenges every day with more grace and dignity than I will ever have. And if you see a clumsy lady trying to shovel snow with just her left hand, that might be me.

Merry Christmas one and all!

Change is Gonna Come

When I go home to Buffalo, I never pass up an opportunity to visit my old neighborhood on the Upper West Side. Photo courtesy of Maria Eley.

Several times a year, I head home to Buffalo to visit friends and family and reconnect with my past. When I do, I never pass up an opportunity to visit my old neighborhood on the Upper West Side.

I still have friends there. Some live in the houses where they grew up, others remain in homes where they raised their children. Still others left when Buffalo hit its nadir in the late 1970s, only to return in the past 20 years as the city regained its footing.

photo of abandoned Spark's Dairy building — Boarded-up Spark’s Dairy, circa 1970. Photo by Moxie Gardiner

Yes, the street where I grew up has changed. Our old house looks smaller than I remember, and the length of our block, the one I raced down on the way home from school, seems so much shorter. There isn’t an Italian grocery store within walking distance, and my old elementary school and church, Nativity of the Blessed Virgin May, closed its doors some years ago. But lest you think I’m one of the old timers about to bemoan the loss of the West Side of my youth, let me quickly say this:

I love the New West Side.

family catching school bus — New residents of the West Side settle into work and school. Photo courtesy of Maria Eley.

When I visit, I find a neighborhood just as lively and interesting as the one where I grew up. My old school, Nativity, is now owned by Catholic Charities, a social services organization which helps refugees resettle into new homes. The staff who work there teach English and assist the refugees in looking for jobs or starting micro-businesses. They provide services not all that different from Catholic Charities’ original mission back in 1910, when they helped Sicilians and other immigrants do the same. I’ve talked to the new students who attend classes at the old Nativity, and they are thrilled to be living in their new, my old, neighborhood.

Some of the front lawns on my street, once filled with crabgrass and opportunistic weeds, have been replaced with environmentally-friendly vegetable gardens—there is one next door to where I lived. Photo courtesy of Doreen Regan.

boho apartment building on Buffalo's west side — The old dairy has new life. Photo courtesy of Doreen Regan.

The abandoned dairy across the street is now a Bohemian-looking apartment building. The garbage-strewn “Triangle” as we called it, where 15^th, Massachussetts, and West Utica streets meet, is now a pretty little garden with benches where dog walkers can sit.

Grant Street, where we shopped for everything from shoes to groceries, is vibrant again with old stores like Zarcone’s Meat Market being bought and run by a young couple named Moriarity who sell specialized cuts of locally raised meat. Next door to the meat market is the West Side Bazaar where you can stop in for lunch and sample food from many nations.

Remedy House, an upscale cafe, serves great coffee. Photo by Moxie Gardiner.

The new Five Points Bakery on Brayton Street. Photo by Moxie Gardiner

Two blocks down and two blocks over from where I lived is an up-and-coming area called Five Points. There is a fabulous bakery there, as well as a wine shop, garden shop, clothing store, and a café with really good coffee.

Gardens in Buffalo are second to none. — West Side flower garden. Photo courtesy of Maria Eley.

As a writer, I was thrilled to learn that every year, one of Buffalo’s “Reading Invasions” sets up in front of the Five Points Bakery, with people of all ages gathering to relax on chairs and blankets and read on the bakery’s lawn. (I want to go next year!)

And as a gardener, I am as proud as can be of the exquisite West Side gardens I saw on Buffalo’s Annual Garden Walk, reported to be the largest garden tour in North America. I tend to admire gardens wherever I travel, and the gardens I saw gracing the old Victorian homes that still dot the West Side are second to none.

The micro-business West Side Bazaar sells food and clothing from many nations. Photo by Moxie Gardiner.

No, this isn’t the West Side where I grew up, but as the late, great singer/songwriter Sam Cooke once observed, “Change is gonna come.” I have learned I can still love my old West Side and embrace the new. I can choose to focus on the crime, empty lots, and blighted houses that still exist in pockets, or I can shift my lens to the new immigrants, recent college grads, and young couples buying first homes, who imbue the new West Side with an energy and enthusiasm business investors and entrepreneurs are beginning to notice. It’s just a matter of time before the West Side is the best side, once again.

What do you love about the place where you grew up? Has it changed with the times? I would love to read and respond to your comments!

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