Children of the River

We who grew up alongside the mighty Niagara know it as the artery that pulsed through our childhood. Photo courtesy of Maria Eley.

Few people outside of Buffalo know much about the Niagara River, other than that it is interrupted by one of the seven natural wonders of the world, Niagara Falls.

Historians might cite the battles fought on and across the Niagara River during the War of 1812, or its later role as a section of the Underground Railroad. Politicians recognize it as an important international boundary, and geographers as part of the great watershed that connects two of the great lakes, Erie and Ontario. Boaters and daredevils are in awe of this river that flows north over the Falls at nearly 70 mph, preceded by some of the most dangerous rapids in the world.

The class VI rapids of the formidable Niagara River.
Photo: Library of Congress

Buffalonians, however, think of none of that. We who grew up alongside the Niagara know it as the artery that pulsed through our childhoods.

Wading near the river’s edge.

I lived not far from the place where Lake Erie narrows and the Niagara River begins. We often walked to the river to fish, and could easily make it to the Foot of Ferry Street or the river’s break wall in 20 minutes. Our Sunday family outings often ended at one of the parks along the river’s edge, where we could play and enjoy delicious Ted’s Hot Dogs in the summer, and ice skate in the winter. At night, we listened to the sand flies, newly hatched down by the river, pinging against our window screens.

We often rode our bikes across the Peace Bridge and into Ontario without having to show ID. Photo courtesy of Dean Gallagher

When we were teenagers and could ride our bikes some distance, we would say goodbye to Mom in the morning equipped with a brown bag lunch and a bathing suit, and ride over the Peace Bridge to Canada. The Baby Hole beach, with its treacherous currents, was right over the bridge, but we preferred Crescent Beach, where other teenagers tended to congregate. If we had the energy, we would ride the 14 miles to the Crystal Beach Amusement Park, and then back again, arriving home sunburned and late for supper.

Photo by Moxie Gardiner

As I grew older, the river sickened. Steel, petrochemical, and chemical industries had flourished along the river, thanks to the availability of cheap electricity from Niagara Falls and easy access to the Great Lakes. In the late 1970s, many of these plants pulled up stakes and left the area, leaving behind hazardous waste sites and contaminated waters. In 1978, a neighborhood near the Love Canal, just outside of Niagara Falls, learned that it was sitting above more than 20,000 tons of toxic industrial waste. Many residents fell ill and died.

By the late 1980s, the Niagara River was officially designated one of the “Great Lakes Areas of Concern,” and the people of Buffalo were warned not to eat fish caught in the river or swim in its waters. I remember all too well the fetid smell of rotting fish, the abandoned factories along the river’s edge, and the greasy film atop the water from industrial runoff. It felt as if the river itself had died.  

Old West Side friends come together to celebrate at new bars and restaurants along the river. Photo by Moxie Gardiner

Today, however, the river is alive again. Restaurants, parks, and upscale apartment buildings have replaced the derelict structures along its shoreline, and Canalside, Buffalo’s revitalized terminus of the Erie Canal, has become a popular tourist destination. Recently, a dozen or so of my elementary school classmates got together at the River Grill, a popular outdoor spot where we could sit and swap stories about the old days while enjoying the river’s cool breeze.

One of Buffalo’s Paddle People enjoying the wildlife near Grand Island.
Photo courtesy of Dean Gallagher

Last summer, I joined the Buffalo Paddle People to kayak around Grand Island, a piece of land the size of Manhattan that splits the river in two. We glided along its banks and out to smaller islands, looking for nesting birds and other wildlife. Off in the distance, I could see the Buffalo skyline, gleaming in the setting sun. I let my fingers drag through the cold waters of the river and was instantly transported back to the days when I would gingerly step out into the same cold waters in my bathing suit, and feel the swift water pushing through my fingers and toes.

Photo courtesy of Dean Gallagher

There is an old adage: “No man steps into the same river twice, for it is not the same river, and he is not the same man.” As I paddled back to Grand Island’s green and healthy shore, these words deeply resonated with me. For as much as the river has changed, I have changed more.

One thing, though, has remained the same: I love this river and always will. The mighty Niagara still runs through me, and I now know that for many future generations, it will do the same.

Did you grow up loving a river? Leave me a comment, below. I look forward to hearing your stories.

Moxie Gardiner is a writer and gardener who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. She is almost ready to publish her first novel, set in Buffalo.

Water in the Mouth

All I have to do is think about the authentic street food usually on offer at the Italian Festival—sfinge, cannoli, gardoons, zeppole, pizza bianca—and I begin to drool.

One of the things this monstrous thief, the COVID-19 pandemic, has robbed us of this year is Buffalo’s popular Italian Heritage Festival, usually held the third weekend in July when Buffalo is fully enjoying La Dolce Vita.

Dante Alighieri, one of Italy’s most famous sons, once said, “There is no greater pain than to recall happiness in times of misery.” I know what he means. I am feeling the pain in this miserable time of quarantines and lockdowns, recalling my many happy years attending the Italian Festival, and being transported back to a time and place that felt so much like the neighborhood where I grew up.

And who doesn’t love fried dough?
Pizza fritta is an old tradition.

There is an Italian expression, avere l’acquolina in bocca, literally meaning to have water in the mouth. All I have to do is think about the authentic street food usually on offer at the Italian Festival—sfinge, cannoli, gardoons, zeppole, pizza bianca—and I begin to drool. Many of the vendors have been there for years, some for generations, making food the way my Sicilian grandmother did. But lest you get the impression that the festival is all about food, let me quickly add a little bit of history.

Most people from the Buffalo metropolitan area are familiar with the version of the festival that for many years was held on Hertel Avenue in North Buffalo, where it moved in the late 1980s along with many of the city’s Italians. After a couple of decades on Hertel, the festival expanded exponentially and outgrew the city streets. In 2018, the festival moved to Buffalo’s Outer Harbor, and again in 2019 to downtown Buffalo.

St. Anthony is still the man at the heart of the Italian Festival.

“The Buffalo Lawn Fete,” however, was actually born nearly 100 years ago at St. Anthony of Padua Church on the lower West Side. The Italian community founded the Saint Anthony of Padua Church Society back in 1891 when thousands of Italian immigrants were pouring in, and it quickly became the social and religious center of the city’s Italian population. The parish established the first Italian language school and priests said the mass in Italian. In 1921, the church’ held the first 12-day lawn fete centered on the “Festa di San Antonio,” which honored St. Anthony, beloved patron saint of the oppressed and poor.

What could be better than eating food that tastes like Grandma’s for $3.00?

Back in 1921, my ancestors were among the thousands of immigrants from the mountain villages of Sicily who had settled on the lower West Side. My grandmother and her family lived on Efner Street, within walking distance of St. Anthony’s, and I like to imagine her and her siblings waiting excitedly for the festival each year, walking to the church, enjoying the food, and meeting and greeting friends and relatives in Italian.

Our favorite lunch, back in the day…

My first encounter with the Italian Festival was in 1976 when it was revived after a hiatus and held again on the West Side. A friend who was working at one of the booths (shucking clams if I remember correctly), encouraged me to walk the four blocks from my house to Connecticut Street to see what was on offer. The whole festival only took up a few blocks back then, and had a much homier feel. I fell in love with the food, the dancing, the music, and the language, and I’ve been going back for as many years as I can remember whenever I’m in Buffalo.

Old Italian expression:
Chi si volta, e chi si gira, sempre a casa va finire.
No matter where you go or turn, you’ll always end up at home.
—————————

This year the plan was to transform Niagara Square into an Italian piazza, say the festival organizers. It was to be focused more on cultural traditions to introduce—or remind—people of the old ways. There was to be grape stomping, puppet shows, tarantella dancers and a procession carrying the statue of St. Anthony through downtown Buffalo. There was even going to be a genealogy booth, and I had looked forward to being fully immersed in the old West Side again.

No, I won’t be able to go the festival this summer and that makes me sad. But I have decided to search high and low until I find an Italian bakery that sells fresh, just filled cannoli in my new hometown. I will venture inside, wearing my mask, and buy half a dozen cannoli, just to console myself.

There is water in my mouth just thinking about it.

Somewhere I will find a good Italian bakery this summer that makes authentic desserts, especially my all time favorite–cannoli.
All photos are copyright by Moxie Gardiner

Moxie Gardiner is a writer and gardener who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. She is almost ready to publish her first novel, set in Buffalo.

Front Porch Summers

No one had air-conditioning, the windows were wide open, and there were no family secrets in the summertime.

Everyone has heard tales of the fearsome Buffalo winters, but few, other than those who live there, know the splendor of its summer days. And as glorious as the days might be, they are nothing compared to the magic of the city’s summer nights.

We cooled off in the backyard until the
neighborhood pools were open.

When I was growing up on Buffalo’s West Side, summer did not begin on Memorial Day. For us it began the day after school ended, usually around the third week in June when the weather turned from cool to mild. We would take our report cards to the Super Duper supermarket to get free tickets for rides at Crystal Beach, pull out our bikes and hose them down, and fill the kiddie pool in the backyard for good measure. Until we turned 10 we weren’t allowed to leave our block, so we made the best of what we had.

On the hottest nights, we’d go down to the Niagara River with Dad to catch a cool breeze.

We counted down the days until the neighborhood pool would open (usually as soon as the water warmed enough to avoid hypothermia) and satisfied ourselves with street games like Kick the Can and Red Rover. If we could scrounge up the money, we’d treat ourselves to trips to Ganci’s Groceries for a bag of Bugles and a baloney sandwich, to Pepe’s for a lemon ice, or wait until we heard the melody of Charlie’s Super Cones truck to buy a single twist of chocolate that tasted like velvet on the tongue.

Our moms made sure we were all home for the summer evening ritual.

At dusk, we would hear the mothers calling from their porches: “Jooo-eeee!” Carmel-lllooo!” in their peculiar singsong cadence. Children would run, breathless, up to their houses and leap onto their front porches before the streetlights came on, or suffer the consequences.  All up and down the block families gathered on their porches, and the evening ritual celebrating the arrival of summer would begin.

My bisnonno loved to catch up
with the other Sicilian men.

It often started with the quick flare of a match and the winking red glow of a cigarette, as the parents sat back in their folding chairs. Cars would slow as they threaded their way down our one-way street to avoid hitting the dogs wandering out to do their business after dinner. On the porches, we would hear the older Sicilians punctuating their sentences in Italian, and the occasional clink as a bottle of homemade wine was poured into glasses.

We would sit on the steps, eating our popsicles,
and learn about the world through front porch osmosis.

Our family of 10 didn’t have enough chairs on the porch for everyone, so we kids usually sat on the front steps, eating popsicles Mom always kept in the freezer. Neighbors would drop by to visit and share neighborhood gossip and we sat, rapt, and soaked it all in. Everything was debated on those front porches—religion, politics, long hair styles, the Vietnam War. We learned about the place that we lived and the people we lived with, through front porch osmosis. No one had air-conditioning, the windows were wide open, and there were no family secrets in the summertime.

As we got older, we would sit on our friends’ front porches and huddle off to the side, listening to music on our transistor radios while sand flies from the river pinged against the window screens. We could smell what our friends had for dinner and hear the murmur of their favorite television show. We got to know which families treated each other well and which didn’t. We learned which houses to avoid after the sun went down.

All of my life, I have insisted that wherever I live, I must have a front porch. I still like to sit there on summer nights, listening to the birds and cicadas in the gloaming. But the sounds and smells of the country at night are different from those of the city. Now as I sit on my porch, I am more likely to hear the cry of an owl than a baby crying, and to smell the pungent smoke of a campfire than a puff from a Lucky Strike.

Our recent pandemic has made me appreciate the simple things in life, like sitting on a porch, surrounded by family and friends, trading stories and drinking ice tea. How I look forward to doing this again, if our luck holds out, this coming summer in Buffalo.

“It is easy to forget now, how effervescent and free we all felt that summer….Every dawn seemed to promise fresh miracles, among other joys that are in short supply these days.”
―Anna Godbersen, Bright Young Things

Do you have fond memories of summer nights on the front porch? I would love to hear some of your childhood memories, particularly of your favorite place to listen and learn from grownup conversation. Leave me a comment please, and subscribe if you like my blog!

Moxie Gardiner is a writer and gardener who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. She is almost ready to publish her first novel, set in Buffalo.

In My Room

When I first heard the song “In My Room,” written by Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys in the early 1960’s, I knew exactly what he was talking about. As one of eight children, I desperately wanted a private space where I could be alone. When I reached the age of 16, I got my wish: my own room, or at least a corner of a room, that I could call my own.

I recently found this picture (above) of my teenage bedroom, decorated in a way that reflected my interests (and eccentricities) at that time. You’ll notice there are no posters of favorite bands or movie stars, no lava lamps or black light posters, no stereo, peace symbols or love beads, the typical accoutrements of teenagers in 1970 when this photo was taken.

Some of my favorite teenage reading material All photos by Moxie Gardiner (except those obviously taken by her mother).

Instead there is a campaign poster for Robert F. Kennedy, (although he’d been taken from us two years earlier). There’s also a poster for the musical “Hair,” an artifact from my first date. Next to the bed, where I could easily reach them, were my beloved books, ranging from literature to poetry to Nancy Drew mysteries, and everyone’s favorite bedside companion, The Sensuous Woman.

What hints do I see in these old photos of the person I was to become? At this age I was obviously still transitioning from child to adult. Witness the juxtaposition of the “7 up” sign on my wall along with the one for “Utica Club” beer. A Chanel perfume poster hints at a longing to be more mature and sophisticated, but the stuffed animals and Chatty Cathy doll on the bed suggest that the girl sleeping there was still clinging to childhood comforts.

We lived in a neighborhood full of kids, but I often felt alone.

What I remember of that time is that despite my many siblings, classmates, and a whole passel of neighborhood kids, I often felt alone. My interests and way of dress were odd (we didn’t have the money to invest in trends) and I was nerdy. I sometimes mixed my West Side slang with “big” words from classic literature, making for clumsy conversation. I indulged in off-color jokes and barbed witticisms, mostly to mask my insecurities. And like all teenagers, I was a bundle of contradictions–funny but sad, eloquent and profane, smart but clueless, daring and fearful.

Life magazine opened my eyes to a world of possibilities.

In my room, I could dream of being the person I wanted to be, not the person I was. I could be an Avenger like Emma Peel, a detective like Honey West, a poet like Emily Dickinson who wrote about the world she imagined from the seclusion of her room. I could work for a senator, attract handsome boys, and travel to the places I’d read about in Life magazine.

My friend Ginny saw this photo and asked, “What were you writing while wearing that Martian headgear? Your first science fiction book?”

I could dream of seeing the “Big Five” on safari in Africa and watch whales breaching in Alaska. I could walk among the giant tortoises in the Galapagos Islands and capture them, with my camera and typewriter, of course. In my room, all things were possible, as they should be when you are young.

This little exercise in nostalgia and self reflection has helped me understand today’s teenagers a little better. Now when I see them glued to their smartphones, I wonder if their favorite electronic device, like my room, serves as their safe haven. A place they can escape to and shut off a sometimes frightening reality. A place to be alone in the midst of others. A place to fire the imagination, and dream.

I am doing things now I could only imagine back then. Sometimes dreams really do come true.

Come to think of it, many in my peer group today are just as addicted to their phones as their kids and grand kids. Maybe the need for a private safe space never really goes away.

Were you an awkward teenager like me, or were you one of the cool kids? I would love to hear your take on teenage angst. Leave me a comment—I love to read them!

Moxie Gardiner is a writer and gardener who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. She is almost ready to publish her first novel, set in Buffalo.

Beggar’s Night

October 30th brings back memories of Mom putting the finishing touches on our homemade Halloween costumes, and us kids looking at the sky, waiting for it to grow dark. As soon as we finished supper, we would run out the door with a large paper bag—24 hours before the actual Halloween trick-or-treating began. Funny thing is, the neighbors were ready for us.

This was known as “Beggar’s Night” in Buffalo, and I along with hundreds of other kids on the West Side looked forward to two full nights of trick-or-treating. It was only as an adult that I learned a) most people in the US have never heard of Beggar’s Night because it’s a regional thing, and b) it was established to allow younger children to have their own night of candy collecting before older kids prowled the neighborhoods, looking to get into mischief. Since we did not know this was the rationale, we trick-or-treated both nights and collected enough candy to open our own corner store.

Little kids dressing up for Halloween
We loved to go Trick-or-Treating on Beggar’s Night

Today, of course, Halloween no longer features kids draped in bed sheets with holes cut out for eyes or wearing plastic masks of their favorite monsters. Halloween has become a money maker. According to USA Today, American consumers spent some $9 billion on Halloween in 2018, with over $3 billion of that spent on costumes alone. A good portion of that money comes not from the pockets of parents with children, but from young adults in the 18-24 year-old age demographic. Party stores, bars, supermarkets, pumpkin farms, candy factories, and the gift card industry, all depend on Halloween to fatten their end-of-year coffers.

Halloween costumes
Monsters and superheroes were Halloween favorites

Which makes me wonder, how did we get from the Beggar’s Night and Halloween of my childhood, to the commercialized holiday that it is today? And how far did the Halloween we enjoyed deviate from the original holiday? It just so happens that I am in Ireland this Halloween, learning about the lives of my Irish ancestors. According to the “Irish Culture and Customs” website (see link below), the Irish invented Halloween.

Legend has it that the ancient Celts divided the year into halves, one associated with the dark, the other with the light. The dark half began when the sun set on November first, which they called Samhain.  On Samhain, the Celts would extinguish their fires and wait for the Druids to light the new fire of the year. At the end of the ceremonies, participants would take home a brand from the new fire to light their hearths anew. While many of the old Samhain traditions have died out in Ireland, the lighting of bonfires has survived.

On Hallowe’en, the night before Samhain, Celtic families would feast on the bounty of the Autumn harvest. Children visited relatives and friends and were given apples and nuts. A favorite traditional fall dish, still popular in Ireland, is Colcannon, a mixture of potatoes, cabbage and scallions. Other traditional Hallowe’en dishes are stampy, a sweet cake; boxty, the savory version of stampy; apple cakes and barmbrack, which is a rich fruit bread.

Pinocchio costume
Apples were traditionally a special treat on Halloween

Many traditions were brought by Irish immigrants to the US and adopted across the land. Jack O’Lantern, for example, was an Irish blacksmith, a lost soul doomed by the devil to roam the Earth with a hollowed out turnip lit by a burning coal ember. In the US, we continue this tradition with a hollowed out pumpkin. Druids disguised themselves to elude ghosts roaming the land on Hallowe’en night so they wouldn’t get carried away. Centuries later, the tradition of disguise continues.

Like all pagan rituals in Ireland, Samhain was frowned upon by the Catholic Church, and by the 13th century, although many of the old Samhain rituals remain as folk customs, November 1st had become a Christian holy day.

I look forward to spending the next couple of days with the Irish to see how many of the old traditions remain, as well as observe firsthand if there is any resemblance to the billion dollar holiday, known as Halloween in the US, in Ireland today. I will try to post some pictures, though Wifi connections are spotty here in the land of the ancient Druids. Stay tuned.

Do you celebrate Beggar’s Night? Halloween? All Saints Day? Or do you ignore them all? I would love to hear your comments.

https://www.irishcultureandcustoms.com/

Moxie Gardiner is a writer and gardener who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. She is almost ready to publish her first novel, set in Buffalo.

Change is Gonna Come

When I go home to Buffalo, I never pass up an opportunity to visit my old neighborhood on the Upper West Side. Photo courtesy of Maria Eley.

Several times a year, I head home to Buffalo to visit friends and family and reconnect with my past. When I do, I never pass up an opportunity to visit my old neighborhood on the Upper West Side.

I still have friends there. Some live in the houses where they grew up, others remain in homes where they raised their children. Still others left when Buffalo hit its nadir in the late 1970s, only to return in the past 20 years as the city regained its footing.

photo of abandoned Spark's Dairy building
Boarded-up Spark’s Dairy, circa 1970. Photo by Moxie Gardiner

Yes, the street where I grew up has changed. Our old house looks smaller than I remember, and the length of our block, the one I raced down on the way home from school, seems so much shorter. There isn’t an Italian grocery store within walking distance, and my old elementary school and church, Nativity of the Blessed Virgin May, closed its doors some years ago. But lest you think I’m one of the old timers about to bemoan the loss of the West Side of my youth, let me quickly say this:

I love the New West Side.

family catching school bus
New residents of the West Side settle into work and school. Photo courtesy of Maria Eley.

When I visit, I find a neighborhood just as lively and interesting as the one where I grew up. My old school, Nativity, is now owned by Catholic Charities, a social services organization which helps refugees resettle into new homes. The staff who work there teach English and assist the refugees in looking for jobs or starting micro-businesses. They provide services not all that different from Catholic Charities’ original mission back in 1910, when they helped Sicilians and other immigrants do the same. I’ve talked to the new students who attend classes at the old Nativity, and they are thrilled to be living in their new, my old, neighborhood.

vegetable garden replaces front lawn

Some of the front lawns on my street, once filled with crabgrass and opportunistic weeds, have been replaced with environmentally-friendly vegetable gardens—there is one next door to where I lived. Photo courtesy of Doreen Regan.

boho apartment building on Buffalo's west side
The old dairy has new life. Photo courtesy of Doreen Regan.

The abandoned dairy across the street is now a Bohemian-looking apartment building. The garbage-strewn “Triangle” as we called it, where 15th, Massachussetts, and West Utica streets meet, is now a pretty little garden with benches where dog walkers can sit.

Grant Street, where we shopped for everything from shoes to groceries, is vibrant again with old stores like Zarcone’s Meat Market being bought and run by a young couple named Moriarity who sell specialized cuts of locally raised meat. Next door to the meat market is the West Side Bazaar where you can stop in for lunch and sample food from many nations.

Remedy House, an upscale cafe, serves great coffee. Photo by Moxie Gardiner.
The new Five Points Bakery on Brayton Street. Photo by Moxie Gardiner

Two blocks down and two blocks over from where I lived is an up-and-coming area called Five Points. There is a fabulous bakery there, as well as a wine shop, garden shop, clothing store, and a café with really good coffee.

Gardens in Buffalo are second to none.
West Side flower garden. Photo courtesy of Maria Eley.

As a writer, I was thrilled to learn that every year, one of Buffalo’s “Reading Invasions” sets up in front of the Five Points Bakery, with people of all ages gathering to relax on chairs and blankets and read on the bakery’s lawn. (I want to go next year!)

And as a gardener, I am as proud as can be of the exquisite West Side gardens I saw on Buffalo’s Annual Garden Walk, reported to be the largest garden tour in North America. I tend to admire gardens wherever I travel, and the gardens I saw gracing the old Victorian homes that still dot the West Side are second to none.

The micro-business West Side Bazaar sells food and clothing from many nations. Photo by Moxie Gardiner.

No, this isn’t the West Side where I grew up, but as the late, great singer/songwriter Sam Cooke once observed, “Change is gonna come.” I have learned I can still love my old West Side and embrace the new. I can choose to focus on the crime, empty lots, and blighted houses that still exist in pockets, or I can shift my lens to the new immigrants, recent college grads, and young couples buying first homes, who imbue the new West Side with an energy and enthusiasm business investors and entrepreneurs are beginning to notice. It’s just a matter of time before the West Side is the best side, once again.  

What do you love about the place where you grew up? Has it changed with the times? I would love to read and respond to your comments!

Moxie Gardiner is a writer and gardener who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. She is almost ready to publish her first novel, set in Buffalo.


When the Yard Became a Skating Rink

Every January, my father would drag out our old stiff garden hose and turn it on until the backyard was flooded, moving the nozzle every so often to ensure the ice formed as evenly as possible. We didn’t have a Zamboni machine so the inevitable bumps and divots would form over tufts of grass and forgotten toys, but as soon as the ice was solid enough, we were hobbling out the door in our ice skates.

Word would spread quickly throughout our West Side neighborhood. Soon our yard was full of kids, some on skates, some just running and sliding over the ice in their rubber boots. A hockey game would start with old brooms and a ball. Mom would make mugs of hot cocoa with a marshmallow floating on top and offer a cup to whoever got cold.

When we were small, we wore double bladed “beginner skates,” lightweight things that would strap onto our boots. When we were good enough to graduate to “real” skates—the leather kind with a single blade—we felt like Hans Brinker, or in my case, his sister Gretel, after she won the famous canal race and the prized “silver skates.” On our homemade ice rink, we taught ourselves how to skate backwards, do a passable twirl, and come to a stop without falling. Later, when we were old enough to walk to the Front Park skating rink, those skills gave us an advantage when we played crack the whip or a cute boy would skate up and grab our mittened hand.

Thinking back, I acquired many useful skills on that childhood skating rink. I learned how to spot and maneuver around hidden obstacles. How to fall flat on my face, pick myself up, and keep on going like it never happened. How to make the most out of winter by thinking creatively and using what was at hand.   

Like many writers, I can’t help but think of winter and ice as a metaphor. Robert Frost, Emily Dickinson, Jack London, and more recently, George R.R. Martin of “Game of Thrones” fame, all wrote about winter from a range of perspectives. Some writers use ice to describe aloof personalities, others to signify the absence of love, still others as a destructive force not conducive to life, and winter as a season of death. A time to be feared.

Buffalonians, however, are a different breed. Wintry conditions comprise a good chunk of life in Buffalo, and I learned to think of winter, and the snow and ice that come with it, another way—as translucent, transforming, purifying, even spiritual. A calm respite before the boisterousness of spring.

I remember those first few steps on the ice, and how all five of my senses would snap awake. The shushing sound of blades on ice. The taste of snowflakes on my tongue. The metallic smell of freezing water and the sight of gorgeous patterns in the snow-rimmed ice. The exhilarating feel of the wind on my face as I rounded a turn and gathered speed. Winter was not “death” to us. It was a glorious time to be alive.

As I near the winter of my life, I try to remember that every season brings pleasure as well as hardship. I would like to embrace this new winter the way I did in my youth—as something with its own special beauty and opportunities for joy.

Chestnut Time at the Armory

One of my favorite memories growing up in Buffalo was the annual trip my brothers and I would take each fall to collect chestnuts at the Connecticut Street Armory. At least, we thought they were chestnuts.

Continue reading “Chestnut Time at the Armory”

Nonni and the Loaves and Fishes

Don’t let the name Gardiner fool you—I had a Sicilian grandmother. She and my grandfather lived on the West Side of Buffalo in an upstairs flat with three small bedrooms and one bath. They had eight children (and adopted two more) who were likewise highly accomplished in producing offspring, so I shared my grandparents with 35 other grandchildren. For us, my grandparents were the center of the universe, and Nonni, as we called her, was the sun. Continue reading “Nonni and the Loaves and Fishes”