Category: Celebrations

What the World Needs Now Is…More Holidays!

Growing up in Buffalo, we had a Valentine’s Day tradition that, as far as I can tell, was unique to our family. During the day, we exchanged paper valentines with our classmates, but when it grew dark, our family would wait in breathless anticipation for the annual visit of “The Big Man.”

We would be sitting at the dining room table around 7 pm, pretending to do our homework, when the front door bell would ring. We would run, fling open the door, and find a chocolate heart lying there, with one of our names on it. While we scanned the street for movement, we’d hear a knock at our back door. We’d run and find another heart. This would continue with all eight of us running and screaming back and forth through the house, until each of us had a candy heart.

The Big Man loomed large in our family lore. We were told he had exceptionally long legs and could run like the wind. We pictured him wearing a dark fedora and a long black coat, moving silently in the shadows. Once, we got the bright idea to split up with some of us waiting at each door, but my mother warned us, “I’m told the Big Man is very shy. If you see him once, you’ll never see him again.” None of us was willing to take that chance.

When we grew older and met our sweethearts, we celebrated Valentine’s Day with red wine and roses, but none of us forgot about the Big Man. When we had children we carried on the tradition, and thankfully, our children promise to continue it with theirs. Traditions—especially the funny, idiosyncratic ones like the Big Man—are what bind us as a family, with a shared history and a sense of belonging.

Psychologists say that celebrating holidays and establishing family traditions is one of the most essential things we do as humans. If approached with the right spirit, holidays are opportunities to relax, share a meal, have a few laughs, and tell stories that connect one generation to the next. So if holidays and traditions are so important, why don’t we have more of them?

I decided, as one of my New Year’s resolutions, to celebrate more holidays this year, and invent some new traditions. No, I’m not looking for more opportunities to shop for gifts or take time off from work. What I have in mind is far simpler. In February, for example, I celebrated Candlemas, Chinese New Year, Valentine’s Day, and President’s Day. To celebrate, I pulled out the nice tablecloth and fancy napkins, used the good china and silverware, added candles and decorations, and designed a meal that reflected the significance of the holiday. Cherry pie for George Washington’s Birthday, for example.

My latest brainstorm is to incorporate a few literary holidays (I am a writer, after all) into my celebratory calendar. We’ll enjoy “Dr. Seuss Day” on March 2nd with my own creative version of “green eggs and ham.” On June 16th, James Joyce’s “Bloomsday,” we’ll rejoice with a trip to an Irish pub. On July 21st, we’ll celebrate Hemingway’s birthday with oysters, Pont-l’Évêque cheese, cold Sancerre, and a shot of rum for good measure. Of course, we will party on Hobbit Day, September 22nd (because hobbits know how to party) and on December 10th I shall bake a coconut cake (her favorite) in honor of Emily Dickenson’s birthday.

In the end, it doesn’t matter what you are celebrating. What matters is that you find things to celebrate, and remember to include others. Teach the young about the old traditions, and involve the old timers in creating new ones. Have fun. Take a break from the news, politics, and whatever other stresses you are dealing with day-to-day and enjoy yourself.

That’s what the world needs now. Fewer confrontations. More celebrations.

The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come

I was visited in a dream last night by the Ghost of Christmas Past. He held my hand as we flew past my old church on the West Side, dropped some coins in the collection box, and paused to listen to the choir singing at midnight mass. On we went. Past AM&A’s department store. A “living” Nativity scene. Houses framed by fat colored lights that gave our old neighborhood a cheery glow. Then I was back under the family Christmas tree, opening a homemade stocking filled with walnuts, Hershey’s kisses, and an orange. Next to the tree was the doll of my dreams, Chatty Cathy, with a smile that showed off her two front teeth. Finally, we stopped at Nonni’s house where meatballs bobbed merrily in a sauce pot the size of a whiskey half barrel, and cuccidati and giuggiulena cookies were heaped on a platter and hidden away until dessert time.

Fortunately, I woke up before the Ghosts of Christmas Present and Christmas Yet to Come could take me on their ride. Both the present and future look pretty scary to me right now. But it got me thinking about Charles Dickens and his famous yuletide morality tale, “A Christmas Carol.” I thought about Ebenezer Scrooge and what he learned when he looked at his past, present and future, and how it horrified him.

The Ghost of Christmas Past showed Scrooge how the events of his life thus far had turned him into who he was—a stingy old curmudgeon loved by no one.  The Ghost of Christmas Present showed him how self-centered he was, blind to what was happening all around him, and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come revealed how his life would turn out if he didn’t change his ways.

The most important thing Scrooge learned that night was that the future was mutable. Things could change. Outcomes, while possible, are not predetermined. By looking at his behavior and seeing its logical consequence—an unmourned death and a lonely grave—Scrooge decided to change. As a result, things improved for him and everyone whose lives he touched.

Upon reflection, what I learned during my growing up years and from all my Christmases past, is not only what‘s important on Christmas Day, but what is important in life. Family and friends. Sacrifice and kindness. Finding joy in doing good for others. But sadly, this isn’t what I see when I look around me today. We all see it: bullying, intolerance of the views of others, insensitive comments on social media. Inconsideration. Selfishness.

So I’ve looked at myself, as Scrooge was forced to do, and asked, what kind of person am I? Am I the kind of person I think I am and wish to be? Do I think of others first? Am I kind? Tolerant? Do I listen carefully and try to learn from others when they speak? Or do I mentally shut them off when their views are diametrically opposed to mine? If I can answer yes to any of these questions, I know the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come would tell me it’s time to clean up my act.

Christmas is a time of celebration, of the birth of a child, of love, and of giving to others. It is also a time to take stock and resolve to be better people in the new year. Scrooge was given a chance to turn his life around before it was too late. Let’s hope, collectively, we’re all so lucky.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all,

Moxie