I remember the day I got the letter from WKBW-TV. “We are indeed pleased to enclose your tickets to the Super Pal Club,” it read. I jumped around the house waving the letter and screaming as if I’d just won the lottery. I was going to be on television with the man of my dreams, Commander Tom!
Every day after school, especially during the long, cold winter months in Buffalo, my siblings and I would gather in front of our TV to watch the Commander Tom Show. The theme song would play and there was the Commander, with his twinkling eyes, dazzling smile, cheeky sideburns, and perfectly coiffed hair, standing upright and resplendent in his red military uniform, talking to his sidekicks Bat Head and Super Mouth, and later, to his handmade hand puppets, Dustmop and Matty the Mod. My brothers waited impatiently for Commander Tom to quit talking and air “The Adventures of Superman,” but my 11-year-old self only had eyes for the handsome man in red. Imagine my rapture at the thought of meeting him in person!
I was not alone in having a preteen romantic crush, as five decades worth of Tiger Beat readers will attest. According to a recent survey, some 90 per cent of young adults have felt a strong attraction to a famous person at some point in their lives. As I thought back to this innocent time I began to wonder, why do people, especially young people, love to love celebrities? Are these fantasy romances healthy, or—as some parents worry today, unhealthy?
Back in the 1950s, Professors Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl were the first to describe the personal bond people feel with a favorite actor or talk show host as a “parasocial relationship.” More recently, Dr. Dara Greenwood, an associate professor of psychology at Vassar College, has written about how social media has heightened parasocial attachments. “We see certain celebrities in movies and TV shows…and with the advent of social media, we often have a seemingly direct pipeline into their personal ‘off screen’ lives,” she says.
Most of these “relationships” are harmless, but they can go too far. “Social media may make celebrities seem all the more accessible as potential romantic partners, and perhaps lead to increased frustration or disappointment when we can’t turn fantasy into reality.” On the other hand, “In my research, participants have identified qualities such as kindness, authenticity and humility as top reasons for their celebrity affinities,” Greenwood adds. “We do tend to gravitate towards media figures who are like us in certain respects – who reflect our own values or interests, whether actual or aspirational.”
I suspect Commander Tom was such a popular local celebrity because of these very qualities. WKBW-TV decided to capitalize on his ratings by creating the Super Pal Club for those of us who in today’s parlance would be called his “Super Fans.” This included most of the kids in my West Side neighborhood, as well as the rest of Buffalo and southern Ontario.
Like with many live TV shows of that era, “Super Pals” were randomly selected from the studio audience to compete in games of skill. I wanted so badly to have Commander Tom notice me that when the show’s producer scanned the audience for possible contestants, I jumped and waved my hands like a crazy person until I was selected. Alas, though Commander Tom was charming and kind to everyone, he never paid any special attention to me. Even the giant Tootsie Roll filled with candies that I won shooting baskets, failed to impress him.
Tom Jolls, aka Commander Tom, became even more well known as Buffalo’s most beloved weatherman until he retired in 1999. I learned recently that in 2019 he was inducted into the NY State Broadcasters Hall of Fame.
I, on the other hand, grew up and learned to be a little more selective about the men I became infatuated with. Unless the guy I was dating was kind, humble, authentic, and perfectly at ease when talking to hand puppets, I moved on. Thanks, Commander Tom!
Have you ever had a celebrity crush? More than one? Better yet, were you a member of the Super Pal Club? I would love to hear your stories in the comments below.
Moxie Gardiner is a writer and gardener who grew up on the West Side of Buffalo, NY. In a previous life she was a journalist, magazine editor, speech writer, and policy wonk. Back in the day she made three solo parachute jumps, flew in an F-15 fighter jet, and crawled through mud pits at the Jungle Operations Training Course in Panama. She now meditates and practices yoga. She is almost ready to publish her first novel, set in Buffalo.