What the World Needs Now Is…More Holidays!

Growing up in Buffalo, we had a Valentine’s Day tradition that, as far as I can tell, was unique to our family. During the day, we exchanged paper valentines with our classmates, but when it grew dark, our family would wait in breathless anticipation for the annual visit of “The Big Man.”

We would be sitting at the dining room table around 7 pm, pretending to do our homework, when the front door bell would ring. We would run, fling open the door, and find a chocolate heart lying there, with one of our names on it. While we scanned the street for movement, we’d hear a knock at our back door. We’d run and find another heart. This would continue with all eight of us running and screaming back and forth through the house, until each of us had a candy heart.

The Big Man loomed large in our family lore. We were told he had exceptionally long legs and could run like the wind. We pictured him wearing a dark fedora and a long black coat, moving silently in the shadows. Once, we got the bright idea to split up with some of us waiting at each door, but my mother warned us, “I’m told the Big Man is very shy. If you see him once, you’ll never see him again.” None of us was willing to take that chance.

When we grew older and met our sweethearts, we celebrated Valentine’s Day with red wine and roses, but none of us forgot about the Big Man. When we had children we carried on the tradition, and thankfully, our children promise to continue it with theirs. Traditions—especially the funny, idiosyncratic ones like the Big Man—are what bind us as a family, with a shared history and a sense of belonging.

Psychologists say that celebrating holidays and establishing family traditions is one of the most essential things we do as humans. If approached with the right spirit, holidays are opportunities to relax, share a meal, have a few laughs, and tell stories that connect one generation to the next. So if holidays and traditions are so important, why don’t we have more of them?

I decided, as one of my New Year’s resolutions, to celebrate more holidays this year, and invent some new traditions. No, I’m not looking for more opportunities to shop for gifts or take time off from work. What I have in mind is far simpler. In February, for example, I celebrated Candlemas, Chinese New Year, Valentine’s Day, and President’s Day. To celebrate, I pulled out the nice tablecloth and fancy napkins, used the good china and silverware, added candles and decorations, and designed a meal that reflected the significance of the holiday. Cherry pie for George Washington’s Birthday, for example.

My latest brainstorm is to incorporate a few literary holidays (I am a writer, after all) into my celebratory calendar. We’ll enjoy “Dr. Seuss Day” on March 2^nd with my own creative version of “green eggs and ham.” On June 16^th, James Joyce’s “Bloomsday,” we’ll rejoice with a trip to an Irish pub. On July 21^st, we’ll celebrate Hemingway’s birthday with oysters, Pont-l’Évêque cheese, cold Sancerre, and a shot of rum for good measure. Of course, we will party on Hobbit Day, September 22^nd (because hobbits know how to party) and on December 10^th I shall bake a coconut cake (her favorite) in honor of Emily Dickenson’s birthday.

In the end, it doesn’t matter what you are celebrating. What matters is that you find things to celebrate, and remember to include others. Teach the young about the old traditions, and involve the old timers in creating new ones. Have fun. Take a break from the news, politics, and whatever other stresses you are dealing with day-to-day and enjoy yourself.

That’s what the world needs now. Fewer confrontations. More celebrations.